My Soul Is Broken
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My heart will yearn
The rest of my life
My Soul burns for you still
I Love you I need you
Life without you
Is so unkind
I don’t sleep
I can’t unwind
Thoughts of you
Never leave my mind
Tears still fall
Startling, burning
Clenching my heart like a fist
Haunted by your loss
My soul is broken,
Yearning for your voice
My soul is broken
Listening for your laugh
My soul is broken
My heart is broken
Yet still unhardened
Hopeful
Waiting to be fixed
Yearning, pining,
Aching, crying
Seeking, searching
Each new face I meet
Your death made this hole
This huge hole in my soul
Waiting to be filled
Needing, wanting
Left this way
Haunted
This woman
You once loved
By Andrea L. Bois
In Loving Memory
copyright ©2008 by the author.
All rights reserved by author.
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Oh, I can so identify with this piece!! When I lost my husband I thought my soul died. Even though it's been many years ago, I still miss him terribly and I will always be remember the way he looked the last time I saw his face looking at me with all the promises we thought we'd have forever to fullfill. You write beautifully. I enjoy reading your work, but it was not until I read this piece that I understand why. I especially like this piece as it sums up all that I have felt over the years:
Yearning, pining,
Aching, crying
Seeking, searching
Each new face I meet
Your death made this hole
This huge hole in my soul
Waiting to be filled
Needing, wanting
Left this way
Haunted
This woman
You once loved
There is a hole; I know all about the abyss. I wrote a book in memory of my husband entitled "Sincerely Yours" that's on Amazon.com. Thanks so much for writing this and sharing it. I hope that you will find someone to fill the hole, I sincerely pray that you do. Life is so much grander when there is someone with whom to share it. But keep on turning out these masterpieces. You are indeed a brilliant poetess. The tempo and imagery are masterful!!!!
I also write at I invite you to go there and read some of my work. http://www.helium.com/users/edit_show/252692,
Keep writing!
Shilohx7
My dear girl you took me and you tore me apart with your words. I have never lost a person that was close to me but you have shown me half of what it feels like i am so sorry for your loss. Be well, and wonderful poem.
Andrea,
A comment would be too shallow for response to something of this. Still, a response feels necessary for me, however, as I've come across your poetry. I, too, am being haunted by close loved ones and am finding remedy in writing.
I hope you'll understand my words of genuine criticism and use it for healing power with integrity! <3
This theme is draining of sorrow; it sucks the poison from a human's pang of being human... and the author has put it as simple as a whale's hollow, high-tone drone of longing.
The honesty, the spiritual relinquishing of immortalized injustice reaches from a very dark place to prevail in triumphant reaction to what cannot be conquered... fear, pain... and every feeling in between.
It rides a mood of depth... the atmosphere can barely be reached by will. This moves open a vent of negative, unwanting, lingering thoughts about what means most in life- people.
As a natural misanthrope, I have felt a piece in me heal and renew the whole. Just by reading this, I awaken a mood of courage and acceptance. The mood was maintained by...
"This huge hole in my soul
Waiting to be filled"
The mood is deep.
I truly can't say here; the author painted images of an experience only she had,
while I saw other events and persons.
Some of your most effective imagery for me here was
"I don’t sleep
I can’t unwind
Thoughts of you
Never leave my mind
Tears still fall
Startling, burning
Clenching my heart like a fist"
I was broken after that.
Nearly everything in this was symbolic... it held a meaning in every line.
... <3
Your syncopated rhyme was courteous of your emotions and thoughts; it was obvious you orderly brought about your description and followed through with your process of healing.
Kudos to your design!
...
,,,
I know we are strangers, but I seriously hope you don't mind me releasing some positive energy on this subject- it has been meant to help you on your journey in a caring and sincere way.
I appreciated reading your beauty, the symbolism and being reminded of facing deeper issues of pain.
Love & Peace be with you, friend!
Let me first say that I am, in a way, hesitant to critique this work, as I can tell that its topic is very close to your heart. However, in keeping with the communal sense of this site and poets like us, I will go ahead and do my best.
You do a great job here of creating intense emotion with relatively few words - this shows that you have a strong voice throughout. At the beginning of the piece, I felt that I wasn't getting enough from you... perhaps the lines read a little short; it's almost a little too choppy for my taste - but as I approached the end and realized exactly what this piece is about, I began to find familiarity in the way that the lines are structured. I like the repetition of the line
within the second stanza, followed by the similar
at the beginning of the third - nice transition here.
Overall, this has a lot of potential and I very much enjoyed reading it. If I have to make any suggestion, I suppose it would be that I would perhaps extend on some of the ideas presented here - I don't think that you have to change anything that is already written, more like filling in between the current lines.
Thank you for this piece and I look forward to hearing more from you in the future!