The poem feels like its in two parts, each a separate style starting at  "A new Life."

The title is great but nowhere to you build on that image.  It is stuck out there as a teaser.

The poem needs more work.  I see what you are trying to say but it isn't clear enough.

I have to agree with the above. The title of the poem really caught my attention. It excited me but then I felt a bit let down when it didn't carry into the poem.

The poem seems a bit rough at this point. I like the flow of sentences into one another.

The couple suggestions that come to mind are to play with words. The writing is currently very short and a bit too simple, I think. Why not show how this state of emotional turmoil is playing out? I want to get inside the speaker and feel what the person is feeling. I can't do that with the way the poem is now.

A second suggestion is to build on the imagery you have in the title. I'm not sure how that will work, but it could provide a really intriguing way to weave through the speaker's emotions.

Good luck!

 This was a great, great poem that you wrote. This reminds me of the romance novel I am currently publishing on this site called Carmine Being and The Black Rose. But it would be better if you made this into a novel. Here is to get you started "There is a fire, deep in my longing heart, right in the inferno within". But again, it's up to you.

I hope you write more on this!

 I think the emotion behind this is excellent and necessary but I also agree with a lot of the above posts as well, though a novel may be a bit of a jump it could be a good opening line for something cool.

 I feel as the others do... I read this piece a couple of times. It sounds as though you are conflicted with what your head wants and what your heart knows. The poem made me feel like there was alot contradictory between lines and expressions. You want one thing but you know that it will require a sacrifice. Think hard about how you really feel and it will show up on your paper. I'm pretty sure that we have all been there, I know the feelings are confusing, but you are off to a start, just keep writing and it will come to you...promise!!

 great poem i liked it,

i m not much of a critiquer so i dont know what points of it were bad or need working on

keep writing

 I like how you made it rhyme, that was cool.  When I read your poem , to me it seems like your not ready for the commitment of marriage or either your really contemplating what you want in life! I appreciate the realness and utter honesty of your piece. Great work and I hope that everything works out for you!