As always, a pleasure to read.  I needed that smile.  As a Taurus, I understand.

Thank you

Amber Lynn

Congrats on winning the May contest! That's very clever. I enjoyed it heartily. Well done.

 kaleidos-coat

I have a new favorite word now. Thank you!

I like this very much. I've known people who have the same attitude. They ROCK!

 This is my first critique, I hope its okay. If you wouldn't mind, maybe critiquing my critique later? xD If it actually helped you, what I should leave out, etc. But here goes:

I'm not really a fan of the first two lines. It doesn't seem to flow well with the rest of the poem. Maybe change it to something like:

The warmth of summer beckons some, while pushes others away. 

Something simpler, because it seems like it's been pushed too hard.

What is a kaleidos-coat? If that's a made up word then, I don't really understand what it means. Is it the same as a kaleidoscope, just fit to rhyme? If so, use a different word!

I like the imagery you put into the first stanza but it just doesn't flow well in general. There is no steady beat that I can find. And I don't see the relevance of the first stanza to the old man.

The second stanza is better, it gives the general idea f the poem. It just seems seperate from the first stanza.

You shouldn't make irrelevant statements just for the sake of rhyming. "I'm not impressed."

Platitudes are trite? That's stating the obvious.

As for the last stanza, you've nailed it.  This is what makes it a sonnet. And to tell the truth, is the whole reason why I like this poem. It pulls it all together and give the poem reason.

I really enjoyed this poem.  I like the surprise end - it was a surprise.  Thanks for sharing it.

Debbie

Hi there,

I'm just taking a peek over here.

Thanks for posting over in the critiquing chain. I probably never would have found this gem if you hadn't.

The tone of this piece is really what makes it sparkle - cantankerous, sarcastic, and perfect for that tired-of-life old guy.

You have some lovely images here (e.g. fall's kaleidos-coat) and you've also done a great job sticking within the limits of a Shakespearean sonnet, although the message is a bit different from what we expect from sonnets in general.

Overall, I really enjoyed your piece. I do, however, have a few suggestions to make - really nitpicky stuff just for you to think about. Use my critiques like bubble gum - chew on what you like, spit out the rest.

First, a few punctuation comments.

"Hooray!" they cry, "for summer's back again;"

The semicolon here is inappropriate. If it is used at all, it should go outside of the quotation marks. I think the best thing to do is replace it with a comma.

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_commacomp.html

This is a great reference regarding semicolon and comma usage.

Or "Ah!" they gasp at fall's kaleidos-coat,[.]
While some delight in snow and freezing rain.[,]
Still others sing with spring within their throats.

I think the punctuation works better like this. If you read it as prose, this would probably be the most logical method of punctuation. Read the last two stanzas as a separate sentence, and it sounds awkward.

Punctuation in poetry is important because it's a subtle way of telling the reader how to read a poem. Just be very aware of what you're doing with it.

Regarding capitalization:

I don't think it's necessary, but consider capitalizing as one would naturally in prose. Capitalize only after periods, for instance. The only reason I'm even suggesting this is because this piece reads very informally, so informal capitalization might work better.

Regarding rhyme:

You have a few imperfect rhymes within the piece (e.g. coat/throats, best/impressed) but since I barely noticed them, I wouldn't worry too much. Probably the first one (coats/throats) was more noticeable. Read it through yourself, see if anyone else picks up on it, then make your decision whether or not to add the "s".

This reads like a very polished, very nicely written poem. There isn't much for me to say! I do hope that my two cents were helpful, though.

And congrats on the contest win, too!

Hugs,

Natalie