I am intrigued, though confused. I see no problems with the poem as a poem. There is no punctuation but such trivial things do not matter to me (especially in light of being a fan of E.E. Cummings, the assumption that meaning is lost with punctuation or is gained without is a logical step I am willing to trust), so the only thing I can safely feel after reading this is intrigued, yet confused. I do not know what i means (hence the intrigue) and am looking to be enlightened. "Volunteer for the Fall" makes me think (ever so much lately) of the fallen angels of Milton fame, though "Volunteer for the High" means nothing to me. Maybe it is a reference I am not well read enough to understand.

Do we ever truly live?

If we know one thing, it is how to die, however.

Why a fit of jealousy? I hope for an explanation as I am but stumbling here. <holds out his hand>

 Ok I so know where your comeing from. I also see nothing wrong with this, besides maybe some ruff parts when it comes to the overall flow. I think for this one, thats ok. It is not ment to be read as a bed time story, where it just flows with out a hich. but ratter it makes one slow down and realy read.

Lone surrvivor/Takes to its wings/A mournful wail/His dirge to sing

This is the part I like the most. It just seams to speek to me. "His dirge to sing"

This poem is fine. You however don't capture the "essence" of the loneliness and suffering that you feel. You lack the emotion and "umph" needed to make your audience sympathize with you. I agree with the first poster that this is like an e. e. cummings poem. I don't "feel" it. With a poem like this, you need the electrifying emotion needed to capture your audience, as I have said; the need to die was strong and you employed volunteers to help you, but alas, we need more. Keep working on it.

What impresses me with this piece is that you have taken a would-be angsty subject and made it palatable.  There's an aloofness in the formalness of the diction that I find really attractive; although it detracts from the emotion of the piece, i think it suits the poem.

My only complaint is this:

Someone teach me to die

This line is supposed to be poignant, but it doesn't come off that way--instead of poignant, it's crude and doesn't fit with the grimly elegant mood you've created.

His dirge to sing

Is a much more compelling line, especially with the inverted phrasing.  On top of that, you invoke the Angel of Death, which is an incredibly powerful symbol.  I think you could use the angel as a vehicle to recreate your line of someone teaching you to die.  I could see you as the "lone survivor," and the angel, which has wings, could parallel the flight and dirge.  I think the line seems so out of place because you give a lovely metaphorical section here:

Lone surrvivor Takes to its wings A mournful wail His dirge to sing

The piece would flow much better, in my opinion, if you extended your metaphors to the more blunt, colloquial lines in your piece.

Overall, though, I'm really grateful that you've approached such an over-done topic with a different feel; it's really fresh and thought-provoking.  Well done.