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man, i was messed up when i heard about the prop 8 ridiculousness--i couldn't believe it! don't give up heart, jenn--it'll happen, and soon. and this time it'll stick, dammit.
you're welcome! and i wasn't surprised a bit.
yay, you!!
LOOKIT YOU!!!! i'm happy for you, you talented thing, you!! woohoo!!
Congratulations, verily! Nice work.
Hey! Congratulations on the contest!
ha! well, you know what i think about your writing--you'd write a GREAT horror story. i hope you do enter! enter the contest, jenn!!
(see? i'm not even trying for a subtle nudge. i'm saying it outright.
)
(see? i'm not even trying for a subtle nudge. i'm saying it outright.
i forgot to mention: i agree with you about the capitalizing every line thing--thank you for freeing me from that misconception. 
and the thing with the 'painted'--i totally missed that. yeesh. will fix! thanks again, sensei circus.
and the thing with the 'painted'--i totally missed that. yeesh. will fix! thanks again, sensei circus.
*gurgle* oh, i'm so psychic-hugging you right now. thank you for reading my lil poem, jenn! thank you even more for really diving in there and 'getting' it!! *sigh* i feel all tingly, as if i could use a cigarette. 
you help me feel as if me & poetry may actually fit together someday. thank you thank you!
(i may be taking it a bit far, but i'm really excited right now by your critique.
) you rock!!
you help me feel as if me & poetry may actually fit together someday. thank you thank you!
(i may be taking it a bit far, but i'm really excited right now by your critique.
jjeeeeennnn!!! (singsong)
whatcha doooin? hope you're feeling better.
if you're feeling up to it, would you mind taking a peek at my 'bigtop dreams' poem? it's short and goofy, and i'd like to know what you think about it...you are my poetical mentor & all.
(are you entering the HORROR contest this month?)
whatcha doooin? hope you're feeling better.
if you're feeling up to it, would you mind taking a peek at my 'bigtop dreams' poem? it's short and goofy, and i'd like to know what you think about it...you are my poetical mentor & all.
(are you entering the HORROR contest this month?)
Thanks for the comment. I really appreciate it. I'll look forward to reading your critique!
Thanks for the critique of Karma Repairman. You weren't mean at all. In fact, please be more mean to me. I think that you are strong where I am weak, so the more comments I can get from you the better. Thanks again.
-Ben
-Ben
Those are big red flags indeed! I'll see if I can cut out my verbosity. I agree with the levity and moroseness thing as well. I think I'll cut the morose, given the overall feeling of the piece. At the end he's supposed to be thinking "Oh crap, what if I pick up the bag AND IT STARTS AGAIN?" but I admit it's not very clear. Thanks for your critique!
hey, that's great! i'm looking forward to reading it when i have the time to mull and ponder.
good luck in the contest!
garrgh. i hadn't thought about it, really. my poetry's nothing fabulous, especially not compared to yours! i could enter for the exercise, i suppose...i'm looking forward to reading your entry, either way.
hey, jenn!
soooo, what'd you decide to do with your contest entry this month?
soooo, what'd you decide to do with your contest entry this month?
Hey Circus, something seems wrong with your FFFF piece, the first two pages are blank. As far as I know it's not me, but it could be.
Glad you liked it!
Hey, thanks again for critiquing my frisbee story a while back. It's going to be published in an online lit mag!!!
thanks for your critique, jenn--! you're right on about what needs work.
i'll get cracking on that!
you're welcome, sweetie!
don't worry, i'm too goofy to be bummed out for long, no matter how devastating your story is.
really nice job, though.
don't worry, i'm too goofy to be bummed out for long, no matter how devastating your story is.
really nice job, though.
Hey, just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed reading "Faith" and I'm working on a critique for it, very emotionally touching, I liked it.
Hello Circus,
Thanks for a great critique on "Smartest Man." You are right about the inconsistencies. I attempted to layer in some fun details, but then they contradicted the action. Whoops. I'll keep working on it. Thanks.
-Ben
Thanks for a great critique on "Smartest Man." You are right about the inconsistencies. I attempted to layer in some fun details, but then they contradicted the action. Whoops. I'll keep working on it. Thanks.
-Ben
hey, jenn--
thanks for reading and sending me your impressions! weird, about the formatting....it looks fine in my 'manage works', but weird in the actual reading. i've just succeeded in messing with my own mind.
thanks for reading and sending me your impressions! weird, about the formatting....it looks fine in my 'manage works', but weird in the actual reading. i've just succeeded in messing with my own mind.
Thanks for your critique! You're right, it does sound a bit "Cartoon Villainy". I'll go over and look at the pacing again, as well.
okay, i can't believe i've read your magician story four times but forgot to critique it!! garrrgh!
i'll remedy that oversight today!!
yeesh. am i getting old or what?
i'll remedy that oversight today!!
yeesh. am i getting old or what?
ah, jenn--
you are the queen of literary fiction, and i bow before you.
thanks so much for your critique of my latest--you kick my ass and stroke my cheek, and show me several options for improving the story. you rock!
you are the queen of literary fiction, and i bow before you.
thanks so much for your critique of my latest--you kick my ass and stroke my cheek, and show me several options for improving the story. you rock!
Thanks for your critique on the microwave story - I'm planning to rework the story, and I'll add the stuff you suggested.
You've written a wonderful piece, Circus! I do hope to read more - you've stopped at just the most tantalizing place!
Circus - you are just too nice 
I'm so glad you liked Water Bottle Musings and I will definitely take into consideration what you said about the first line. I think it's a little distracting, too.
I'm so glad you liked Water Bottle Musings and I will definitely take into consideration what you said about the first line. I think it's a little distracting, too.
and hubby just read it. he got all teary, too, and said, "that's good stuff. f@cking bitch."
(don't worry--that's really really good. if he's moved enough to curse, you've got him.
)
(don't worry--that's really really good. if he's moved enough to curse, you've got him.
a sincere pleasure, honestly. you're so welcome. that magic of storytelling gets me everytime.
and you do it so freaking well!!
hey, darrrrrlin'. 
thanks so much for your critique of my 'machines taking over' story. this was definitely a slapdash operation, and i'll be putting your ideas to good use on it. i always leave your critiques feeling like i can do this stuff, that i'm worth reading--thanks!!
i'm reading your story tonight, after massive amounts of coffee. (long week.)
thanks so much for your critique of my 'machines taking over' story. this was definitely a slapdash operation, and i'll be putting your ideas to good use on it. i always leave your critiques feeling like i can do this stuff, that i'm worth reading--thanks!!
i'm reading your story tonight, after massive amounts of coffee. (long week.)
Thanks for the critique! Eighteen, huh? And I thought I started early! I will definitely take your words to heart. Can't wait to read your work sometime!
*.................still panicking....*
DANG!! you ARE perfect. i hate you so much. 
can't wait to read it!! now i just gotta write mine.
*panics....panics......still panicking.....panicking some more*
can't wait to read it!! now i just gotta write mine.
*panics....panics......still panicking.....panicking some more*
ha! awesome! i'm pleased as punch.
to join the furious circle (gotta be the furious circle!), send ben jacobson a note and he'll invite you in--it's a private group. see? you're all exclusive & shit. like studio 54.
to join the furious circle (gotta be the furious circle!), send ben jacobson a note and he'll invite you in--it's a private group. see? you're all exclusive & shit. like studio 54.
hey, jen!
how the heck are ya?
i don't know if you'd be interested, but i'm hoping you'll consider joining the "furious fridays flash fiction" circle?
we're quietly looking for folks who are strong at writing and critiquing and regularly active onsite...i think you'd be perfect.
(okay, i think you're already pretty much perfect, but that goes without saying.
)
please check it out and let me know! cheers--
how the heck are ya?
i don't know if you'd be interested, but i'm hoping you'll consider joining the "furious fridays flash fiction" circle?
we're quietly looking for folks who are strong at writing and critiquing and regularly active onsite...i think you'd be perfect.
please check it out and let me know! cheers--
Thanks for reading! I am glad that you liked it so much--there are few things that, as a writer, are more wonderful to see than someone who really likes and really gets something out of your work. It means a lot. It made my day, in fact. ^_^
Thanks so much for your wonderful critique of my novel. Boy, I have some typos in there and you've certainly given me some great areas where I need improvement. I'm just about to read the short story you posted in the Critiquing Chain - I'm looking forward to it.
-Natalie
-Natalie
ha! thanks so much for your feedback on my latest chapter--i laughed at some of my mistakes; looking at them now, i'm all, "doy."
i've been posting these chapters i've written over the past two years, hoping i'll kickstart my brains...get something going on these things. i'm hell at starting new things, but sticking to them? not so much. yep, you've discovered my fatal flaw.
honestly, i don't know what to call the thing. i know generally where the story's going, and i'll keep fishing around for better options as i go. i didn't like the title much, either. i am so jazzed you're feeling ambivalent about josiah's dad!!! i can say no more about that...yet.
i will revisit the silliness and try to fix it, and thank you thank you for your review, jen! you inspire me to keep writing. *squishy hug*
i've been posting these chapters i've written over the past two years, hoping i'll kickstart my brains...get something going on these things. i'm hell at starting new things, but sticking to them? not so much. yep, you've discovered my fatal flaw.
honestly, i don't know what to call the thing. i know generally where the story's going, and i'll keep fishing around for better options as i go. i didn't like the title much, either. i am so jazzed you're feeling ambivalent about josiah's dad!!! i can say no more about that...yet.
i will revisit the silliness and try to fix it, and thank you thank you for your review, jen! you inspire me to keep writing. *squishy hug*
Thank you so much for your critique and your extremely kind words - your encouragement is well-received and appreciated. I look forward to reading more of your work and returning the critique favor! ~James
aw, jen--
thanks so much for the message! i'm having a wonderful birthday--thanks!
and i think we connected right away, right at the beginning. maybe someday we'll meet up halfway between jersey and arizona.
thanks so much for the message! i'm having a wonderful birthday--thanks!
and i think we connected right away, right at the beginning. maybe someday we'll meet up halfway between jersey and arizona.
Thank you for the critique of "Bounce". I'm delighted you enjoyed it. All your points are well made and I'll almost certainly include most of them in any subsequent edit.
Kind regards,
Laos
Kind regards,
Laos
bothered? are you keeding me?? i LOVE it! one of my joys is opening my mail and discovering you've read something i've written. 
thank you! thank you!
thank you! thank you!
hi, jen--
two! two fabulous critiques in two days! ha ha ha!
you've given me good advice and lifted me up again (and on a rotten day, too)--thanks for your generosity of spirit and your empathic reading. you're the best.
woohoo!
two! two fabulous critiques in two days! ha ha ha!
you've given me good advice and lifted me up again (and on a rotten day, too)--thanks for your generosity of spirit and your empathic reading. you're the best.
hee! you're certainly welcome. my pleasure! 
seriously: getting published. look into it.
seriously: getting published. look into it.
hey, jen!
you just keep brightening my days--thank you.
i received your recent critiques on my novel chapter 3, and on my first batch of june challenge shorties. i never fail to feel gratitude for your attentions--you're a boon, and someday soon, when my brain's firmly anchored back in my skull, i'm gonna sit down and spend an afternoon reading up on everything you've posted the past few weeks! i've been very 'takey' lately, and you're top on my list of giving.
thanks again, nice lady.
you just keep brightening my days--thank you.
i received your recent critiques on my novel chapter 3, and on my first batch of june challenge shorties. i never fail to feel gratitude for your attentions--you're a boon, and someday soon, when my brain's firmly anchored back in my skull, i'm gonna sit down and spend an afternoon reading up on everything you've posted the past few weeks! i've been very 'takey' lately, and you're top on my list of giving.
thanks again, nice lady.
aaaaauuuugghhh!!!!!!
thank you, missy jen. you always give great critique.
so many solid suggestions, and you really pay attention, glean my meaning and intent--i love receiving your feedback!
(in case you're not sure, i'm thanking you for your fabulous comments on my face-eating alue demon story.
)
you rock!!!
thank you, missy jen. you always give great critique.
so many solid suggestions, and you really pay attention, glean my meaning and intent--i love receiving your feedback!
(in case you're not sure, i'm thanking you for your fabulous comments on my face-eating alue demon story.
you rock!!!
Hey Circus,
Welcome to FFF and thanks for the critique of Not Pictured. You made some great suggestions that I will be sure to use if I ever re-draft it.
-Ben
Welcome to FFF and thanks for the critique of Not Pictured. You made some great suggestions that I will be sure to use if I ever re-draft it.
-Ben
i just sent myself an email reminder at work to check out a poetry anthology--i like your strategy. thanks again for the advice! will let you know if i begin to see the world differently...
okay, first: you are awesome beyond mortal understanding of awesomeness! 
second: thanks for your detailed explanation of meter. it all makes sense to me, except how to properly "hear" up & down beats. see, i was aiming for iambic, and thought it was following okay. when i said the lines, to me they sounded right.
how to know how someone else will hear your poem? is this just another unanswered mystery of the universe? if it is, then i'm cool with not knowing. but if there's a standard way, i'd love to know it. (sorry for being such a bug--you're the first person who's illuminated this stuff for me!)
thanks once again for your help, jen.
second: thanks for your detailed explanation of meter. it all makes sense to me, except how to properly "hear" up & down beats. see, i was aiming for iambic, and thought it was following okay. when i said the lines, to me they sounded right.
how to know how someone else will hear your poem? is this just another unanswered mystery of the universe? if it is, then i'm cool with not knowing. but if there's a standard way, i'd love to know it. (sorry for being such a bug--you're the first person who's illuminated this stuff for me!)
thanks once again for your help, jen.
hey, girl--
you sure are nice to me.
thank you for the lovely critique of my poem! i'm relieved!
i'd sure appreciate any tips you could give me on setting a better rhythm to my lines--i tried to get those feet going the right way (pain in the ass, actually), but it didn't come across. harrumph. this poetry stuff is hard.
thanks again, jen--you rock!
you sure are nice to me.
thank you for the lovely critique of my poem! i'm relieved!
i'd sure appreciate any tips you could give me on setting a better rhythm to my lines--i tried to get those feet going the right way (pain in the ass, actually), but it didn't come across. harrumph. this poetry stuff is hard.
thanks again, jen--you rock!
and i just saw your critique for my mad veterinarian flash--i absolutely love that you revel in my disgusting characters. thanks for enjoying the wallow as much as i do. 
wow. i mean, wow. jen, you've officially melted my hoary heart. *sniff* thank you for my lovely balloons, and for your wonderful sentiment!! i'm humbled, my dear.
(is there a 'humble' emoticon?)
you're pretty darned special.
you're pretty darned special.
*gurgle*
heellooooo!!!!
hee. so glad to see you've read my rose rising chapters! and i'm glad they don't suck.
i know they're kinda jumpy, and it only gets worse going in because i kinda pack in a lot very quickly...needs major fleshing out. but, i'm rambling. thank you for your comments, jen!
hee. so glad to see you've read my rose rising chapters! and i'm glad they don't suck.
i know they're kinda jumpy, and it only gets worse going in because i kinda pack in a lot very quickly...needs major fleshing out. but, i'm rambling. thank you for your comments, jen!
Circus,
Thanks for the Critique of Sunset. If I ever get around to revising any of my Flash Fiction, I'm definitely going to use your suggestions.
-Ben
Thanks for the Critique of Sunset. If I ever get around to revising any of my Flash Fiction, I'm definitely going to use your suggestions.
-Ben
hi, jen--
are you thinking about entering this month's site contest? your poetry is brilliant (i don't toss that word around at just anyone, you know), and if you're inclined, i bet you'd clean up. i just marked your new poem 'to read'. i won't promise i'll understand all the nuances, but i'm positive you'll impress and touch me with your formidable talent.
(boy, i'm gushy tonight. i mean it, tho!)
are you thinking about entering this month's site contest? your poetry is brilliant (i don't toss that word around at just anyone, you know), and if you're inclined, i bet you'd clean up. i just marked your new poem 'to read'. i won't promise i'll understand all the nuances, but i'm positive you'll impress and touch me with your formidable talent.
(boy, i'm gushy tonight. i mean it, tho!)
hi, jen--
you're fabulous, always supportive. thanks for your critique of my whippoorwill story. i'm so glad you identify with my stuff! (not that you're a condemned man, or gouging your eyes out...)
you're fabulous, always supportive. thanks for your critique of my whippoorwill story. i'm so glad you identify with my stuff! (not that you're a condemned man, or gouging your eyes out...)
Hey, Circus! I tried to critique on "Peach Orchard, but when I submitted it, scribophile said that they could find the work. I guess I will try again later. In the meantime, why don't you read some of my works?
hallo! me again. 
thanks for another supportive and constructive critique--you're right about me rushing the second half. arrgh! i can't slip anything past you. will work on it, and hopefully impress you with my fabulousness soon.
i'm off to read 'philomel'!
thanks for another supportive and constructive critique--you're right about me rushing the second half. arrgh! i can't slip anything past you. will work on it, and hopefully impress you with my fabulousness soon.
i'm off to read 'philomel'!
hey, girl!
thanks for the wonderful critiques! you've given me several great suggestions, some things to think about, and loads of support--i appreciate your feedback.
writing shorter stories seems to be an issue for me--i feel like i leave out so much, so hearing back from you is invaluable. you're the best!
thanks for the wonderful critiques! you've given me several great suggestions, some things to think about, and loads of support--i appreciate your feedback.
writing shorter stories seems to be an issue for me--i feel like i leave out so much, so hearing back from you is invaluable. you're the best!
Thanks for your critique. I disagree with it though, because believe it or not, editor's have hounded me to accept a 1st place award for it. But I declined, because I didn't want to fly somewhere strange & read it in front of people I didn't know. That's not the only reason I disagree with you, but it's just an opinion anyway. I mean nothing bad by this messege btw. Just thanks for the critique.
'hellish bastard miasma'!? bwaa! ahem. sorry. i'm so glad i helped prevent that kinda day for you. hopefully tomorrow will be better. thanks for leaving me such a cheering note--i've had a chest cold, and the only good news i've gotten the last coupla days has been cold medicine. :/
In response:
Thats interesting! I wills ay its been a while since I have read the myth. I had always read it that basicaly Persephone was taking a walk and Hades scooped her up.
its been a while so Ill take alook a a diffrent version!
Thats interesting! I wills ay its been a while since I have read the myth. I had always read it that basicaly Persephone was taking a walk and Hades scooped her up.
its been a while so Ill take alook a a diffrent version!
(sighs, wipes away tears of laughter)
hi, jennifer--
i'm still laughing my bootie off over your fabulous comments on my eyeball story. jeebus, my husband was cracking up, too. thanks for making my night, and giving me the funniest critique i've ever gotten. gawd.
hi, jennifer--
i'm still laughing my bootie off over your fabulous comments on my eyeball story. jeebus, my husband was cracking up, too. thanks for making my night, and giving me the funniest critique i've ever gotten. gawd.
No problem. I'm glad I could be helpful. Good luck with it!
I apologize if the critique wasn't very helpful-sometimes I'm better with writing poems than critiquing them. But hey, if it helps, I'm glad! And it's no problem, really. I really did enjoy the poem, too.
Hello, Circus. Wanna read my works sometime? Just click my name, scroll down to recently published works. Pick any one and critique!
Hi, Jennifer--
I just read 'Eros' and was impressed and moved. I'll be back to read more of your work!
Laurie
I just read 'Eros' and was impressed and moved. I'll be back to read more of your work!
Laurie
No problem, it was a fun read. Looking forward to seeing some more writing from you
It was no problem at all, I was just trying to return the favor for the outstanding critique you gave me. Thanks for your help. I look forward to reading more of your pieces.
Hey, thanks for the flattering critique. Some people didn't see into it like you did, but you hit the nail on the head which is reassuring! I too was debating my use of'chic.' It's been tripping me up for two years.




