Long live the pirates!

I don't know if I, as a novelist, am warranted to even critique poetry, but the best suggestion I have for you is to consider structure and style. Yes, as a poet, you have a right to free verse--no one can tell you how you *must* structure your poem. However, it seems that you have made an attempt at structure, mostly suggested by your rhymes and half-rhymes, like "aim and "slain," "rising," "devising," "compromising," etc... Also suggestive of a structure is your repetition of certain lines, like "Black death sails on." While these pieces of a larger structure *are* apparent, there is no over-arching structure that actually exists. There's no rhyme scheme, no consistency of line numbers or syllables. While, again, this is your poem, I highly suggest either trying to develop a stronger skeleton that has a consistent line and rhyme scheme, or removing the attempts at rhyming altogether. I've always felt that rhyming tends to hinder creativity, anyway, so let your writing be free.

On a lesser note, I have a minor tense issue I'd like to bring to question. You refer to "Black death" as a single entity, but the pronouns you use, (they, their) suggest multiple entities. I see what you're trying to say, but it's still an important poetic question: do you want to describe the pirates as one entity? Since you never shift from calling them "black death," I suggest changing it to be in the singular. For explain: "Black death sails the hazy horizon. It waits for the moon rising. Plunder and treasure is its aim." What do you think?

Also, why is there no consistency with the exact line about the Black death? The opening line is:

Black death sails the hazy horizion.

But later, you put:

Black death sails on the hazy horizion.

Instead, if you want to have a structure behind it, have every opening line be "Black death sails on the hazy horizon," (Take note of the spelling of "horizon,") and end each paragraph with "Black death sails on."

My last curiosity is about the line:

On the black ,moon is rising.

The use of the moon is good, because you mentioned the moon rising in the end. However, how is the moon rising on the "black"? The black what? Also, that comma is out of place. You'll definitely need to specify this. My suggestion, with the themes you've already been developing, would be "On the horizon, the moon is rising." You talk so much about being on the horizon and all that, it would connect well. Good luck, fellow pirate!

Well, to start things off, I'd like to mention that "horizion" is actually spelled "horizon." Just me being anal.

But as for the rest of your poem, it's very basic as far as pirate themes go. I think you could have done a lot more with this. When reading a poem, one should see the imagery you're trying to convey. I don't see much of anything.

Part of the reason for this is the structure, or rather the lack of it. Some lines rhyme, some have a common vowel or sound, a few have no rhyme or commonality at all. If the reader is too busy wondering how you pulled it together, they can't be expected to pay much attention to your content.

That aside, I think the imagery is almost nonexistent. Beyond seeing a large vessel sailing on a horizon and waiting, I get nothing. Where are the scurvy-stricken sailors with their pistols and cutlasses? Where is the gleam of their plunder? You mention a haze, but what about the fog of war? There is so much you can do with this.

This is another poem I would consider rewriting. If not the imagery, at least give it a structure.

 I liked this piece, but then I guess I have always had a soft spot for pirates. I would have liked to see something come from this piece, I checked out the other critques and I do agree with the one, but then yes I know you wrote this for a class project. You could always go beyond the project and just try a re-write using some type of poetic formatting and see what you come up with, as a poet myself I find nothing wrong with free verse, after that is why they call if 'free' so you can write it any way you please. But I see potental for a classic poem within these free verses, I have done this to a few of mine, and was very surprised how much the ratings went up on that Helium.com web site where all my work is posted. Thats it, I want to  check out your other stuff so you will be hearing from me again, have a good day.

 pirates are awesome!

this poem is really great...the words flow well together.  it's really creative...