You've taken on a very powerful subject with this poem, and I think you deserve a lot of credit for taking on an issue like this.

I just noticed some general things while reading through. Watch for verb tenses - there were a handful of places where you had something in present tense where it should've been in past tense. Generally it's a good idea to try and stick with one tense throughout a work so just skim it over and watch for that.

Your stanzas should be the same length, if possible (as in, the same number of lines in each one). That's just something that's generally done, but it's also a rule that can be ignored if your stylistic choices demand it.

Also, when rereading it, try saying the lines and stanzas allowed. Find our which ones seem to flow better than the others, and take the ones that don't and reword them or restructure them so that they have a rhythm that's easier to follow. Poetry should be like music in that way - you should be able to feel a pulse underneath the words, a sort of engine that brings the reader along right to the end of the piece.

Good job on describing such a sensitive issue Thanks for the read!

Connie,

This poem is very emotional and rightly so with such a weighty topic. As far as content is concerned, this poem does reflect the hopeless, helpless feelings associated with abuse. You also do well depicting innocence through the images of the princess, the quilt, etc.

Concerning form, free verse is just that, free. There are no length requirements for each line, no syllable restrictions, no rhyme to adhere to. Therefore, it is up to the poet to decide how long a line needs to be. So go ahead and play with it. Line breaks can be a very effective tool in free verse. It can add a double meaning to a line. For example, in the fifth stanza, you write, A broken spirit, no hopes or dreams of what life might have been is now shattered and toss upon the ground. Taking this sentence (and first cleaning it up grammatically) and cutting it off, perhaps before the word "what," can bring a new sense to the lines.

Everything in this poem is up to you, so play around with it in many ways to decide which way you are best represented. I'd say go through this with a fine tooth comb for spelling, grammar, and word selection and it will be in great shape. 

Kudos on taking on such a weighty subject. The free verse works well with the topic, giving the poem a wide range of expression. The poem has some very beautiful and haunting syntax but I think some of the grammatical idiosyncrasies distract from the poem's message. The following are some that I think interrupt the flow of the poem.

How you would run and played in the fields all day to your hearts delight;

I would change 'played' to 'play'. The tenses don't really coincide.

The quilt, the shame and the horrible pain is to much for a child of eight to bare: wandering when?

Do you mean 'guilt', rather than 'quilt'? The first time I read the poem through I automatically read it as guilt, given the context.  Also since you are listing three things you should change 'is' to 'are'. Is 'wandering' supposed to be 'wondering'?

Why did you have to grow up way to fast?

'Too', instead of 'to'.

A broken spirit, no hopes or dreams of what life might have been is now shattered and toss upon the ground.

The tenses in 'shattered' and 'toss' do not match. I think I would also put a comma between 'been' and 'is', but that is more of a personal preference. I could see how that might change the flow of the sentence in a way you don't intend.

I understand why some of these grammatical errors could be purposeful, meant to break the flow of the poem and thus reflect the theme of the work. If this is the case however I would re-think it. In my opinion the subject matter is weighty enough without the added, distracting layer of the erratic poetic grammer.

If the errors are in no way purposeful then in the future I would proofread your work much more carefully before publishing. The errors I pointed out above are only the more obvious ones from the first five stanzas. As a reader goes through the poem and tries to take in the essence of the poem their attention is distracted by simple grammatical errors. It takes away from what is otherwise a lovely and sad work.

its a good idea and very touchy subject but i like it great job!

 You have a very strong point of view in this poem. It also reminds me of what goes on with the world right now: chlidren being further abused by their parents for even the smallest things they do --- poor little guys. This poem really opened up my sealed heart and let out vast emotions that helped me both read this poem and let me carefully write this critique. This is very inspirational of what you did right here: a possible voice of reason that told bout child/adult abuse.

Your #1 quote was:

Who would ever dream that life could be so cruel but
I found out that day you were stripped from me.
What was taken from you that night no one had that right!
For that was your right to give away on your special day.
 

It just goes to show you that even though life is harmless and innocent, within the world lie cruelty in itself.

 I think that it is great that you would talk about a touchy subject. It was very good. Thanks for writing this..

 i think this poem is great and is very emotional and u did a great job writing it

"Who would ever dream that life could be so cruel but I found out that day you were stripped from me. What was taken from you that night no one had that right! For that was your right to give away on your special day."

 

 

Let me start by saying that this practically brought me to tears. You did an excellent job on this peice. I love it and it is going to inspire me to keep going. I encourage you to write for as long as you live because a good mind is a terrible thing to waste. I'm sure this will touch a million souls as it did mines. It's amazing how you came up with this because its absolutely flawless. Thank you and protect your little Fairytale Princess.

  I thought this poem was really good, but it was also very sad and lonely in the beginning. The girl in the story feels so much pain, sadness, and loss and you really get an understanding of that through your words. You really wish you could help her or just tell her it will all be okay.

It seemed like she was stuck in the past and couldn't see the present or future that was right in front of her eyes. She lived her whole life with this feeling of If only I could go back and change the past. It's really a sad poem, and even at the end she never really let go of the tragedy that led her to life full of sadness and pain. Honestly, I used to feel like that, and I feel sorry for anybody who deals with feelings like that on a daily basis.