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Dankton Lane

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poetry, fiction
1st
Draft

Published on:

September 4, 9:50am

Word Count:

200

Work Description

Poem - 34 lines, free form

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Dankton Lane

  

Trying not to spill

On the milky path

Stretchmarking the first field

That bellies up from the coastal plain.

Behind and beneath

Stumpy bungalows and rusting trees

Blacken against the bonfire sky.

A bus rattles around

Mickey Mouse Town,

Primary bright in the dusk.

I look back to where

The cliffs gleam like baby teeth

In the bay’s gum-red jaw.

Above me is the unchristened iron hill.

 

This is not the countryside,

Nagged by the A27’s colicky whine.

The fishing villages are long swamped

On their thin windy strip

By a scurvy lip

Of industrial flats and mock Tudor enterprise.

The sea beyond is sullen

In its lack of charm, it’s narrow prospects.

 


Even at this remove

I try to see the window where you were born.

It is something to know, there in that chalky molar

Pushing up through Brighton’s prickly roots,

Bloodied by a flecked sun.

Here, below, I see an angle of our own roof

Ina mossy swaddle of satellite orchards.

And your window, beacon bright

In this be-littered landscape,

Where you are a hinge in time.

A kissing gate in the stony allotment

Of a snagged life.

 

 

D E Woodhouse

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Discussion

 Such marvelous imagery!  You take my breath away with your ability to sustain and continue a thread throughout the poem.

A kissing gate in the stony allotment

Of a snagged life.

Right down to the end, you continue to astound me to the point that I don't want the poem to end.  I would like to see more of your work.  Please don't be discouraged if it takes a while for people to critique.  I think they must be simply speechless with admiration and unable to find anything to criticize!  

 

 

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