Well, it was just you being picky. Every line of that poem is only 10 sylllables. I may just have 1 too many words on a line. In any case, thanks for your critique.

I am actually leaving work, and I saw it was a couple pages. I will go in and read/comment tonight when I get home. I look forward to it! Merry Meet Dan! Keep writing!

Hello, Dan! Wanna read my works? Just click my name, scroll down from my profile to recently published works, you will see Heart of Ice. Come and read and critique it!

Hey Dan,
Thanks for the critique and welcome to scrib! I have a ton of stuff posted (I assume you are building karma points to post, LOL - I did the same thing.) Let me know when you post your first piece! I will be happy to give you feedback. The critique was really helpful 0- I agree with it and am going to edit accordingly. Keep writing!