The Molester
molestation, sexual abuse, family crisises, article, non-fiction, biography, family relationships, molesters
Published on:
Mar. 11, 2008, 11:15pmWord Count:
1012Work Description
My children were molested when they were very little. This is our story.
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his girlfriend making out and imitating them. Then there were allusions to other things the kids
didn't have the words to explain.
Jenn's reference to Jake's penis and her mouth came from somewhere
and it wasn't home.
Because the kids were so young, their memories kept changing. They would remember something, forget something else. We had to content ourselves that we had addressed the problem, even though we weren't sure how bad the problem was. And because they were "unreliable witnesses", as the police said, David could not be prosecuted. We had always thought we were lucky to have David. He was great with them. The kids had fun. There were times when he took them out and he wasn't even babysitting. For a 17 year old boy, we thought he was remarkable. He was the oldest of five, an honors student, responsible . . . how lucky were we?
Our lives have been irrevocably tainted by the molestations in subtle and overt shadings. Jenn developed mile high boundaries. For a couple of years she barely let me out of her sight. Although she is away at college right now, we still have a fairly strong tether between us although she grows more independent daily. Both she and Jake have been very careful in relationships - they each have had only one, preferring to remain single as a rule. Jenn developed anorexia when she was in high school. Jake is a major risk-taker and thrill seeker. He suffered from a strong bout of depression when he was eight, even to the point of planning a suicide. He now handles his feelings with the assistance of a powerful spiritual connection. And I have struggled to believe in my competence as a mother. All because a young man played with the lives of children . . . there is no forgiveness for those acts.
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Discussion
What a difficult and challenging time your family have withstood, but it sounds like you and your husband dealt with it in a caring and concerned way. It's too bad that your marriage did not survive, but it seems its not unusual for marriages not to make it through such trials.
Thank you for so frankly sharing your story. I wish you all continued healing.
Debbie,
I'm so sorry for what you and your family had to go through. It's just a shame that that boy couldn't have been caught and dealt with.
Your story is beautifully written, and I feel the anguish and hurt that you and your family went through, in your writing. It sounds like you and your husband did all the right things for both you and the kids. It was cruel for that social worker to tell you she thought you or your husband had done that.
I, too am sorry that your marriage didn't surrvive, but you did, and your kids are still alive, even if they have some issues. Is Jen getting help with her anorexia? And Jake, is he still going to counseling? It sounds like they both could still use some help to deal with the awful thing that happened to them. I am sorry that their innocence was stolen from them, especially at such a young age.
Your story is perfect. You reach out to the reader and make him feel what you felt, and that is a step in becoming a successful writer. Hope this helps. You and your family will be in my prayers.
Cathy
I have to agree with what Vega The Cat Lover said earlier on in these chains of critiques. I am very sorry to hear what you have and your children have gone through, I feel that you should be spared from this horrible ordeal and I can just imagine what you had said in the first paragraph of your story. I shudder to even think about it. I feel so sorry for you, because your world had been screeched to a halt, turned upside down, left with such emotional scars that are unhealable beyond repair, you poor, poor soul. Your words open my heart like a gate of happiness and I wish that I could help you in some way. It may be hard to shake those sickening thoughts off, but remember this from me to you: Through even the darkest hours of pain and immense suffering, a light peered out from those hours, like a harbinger that leads you to joy. May happiness be with you, my sad soul, and may these bad thoughts be purged from your pure body.
I can't believe things like that happen. Well I know they happen, but I guess that I just can not at all understand why or even how anyone can do something so heinus. That is just ridiculous. As far as the piece, I thought it was very well written. Just one tiny problem....
My children’s innocence was
that should be were, I am pretty sure.
I am so sorry for your families trauma. I have had this experience to.......................
I am sorry. Sorry for your kids, Im not so good with this I just realized.
Dont know what to say.
thank you for sharing
hugs
Sherry
Very interesting and deep story. It situations like this that make me become more cautious about whats going on every where. The story has good structure, explaination, and description. I believe this piece of writing came from the heart and that is one of the best types of writing. I am sorry that the incident happened but all people can do is be aware of whats going. Overall, the story was deep, it caught my attention quick and your a good writer....best of luck in the future...



I'm so sorry to hear about the burden your family went through. The piece was well-written and captivating. I'm pleased to hear your children seem to be doing great though, and frankly, you handled the situation well - better then most people, I'm sure. Thank you for posting this and sharing your experiences.