Touch
poetry, fibromyalgia, chronia pain syndrome, pain, touch, perception
Published on:
April 25, 7:52pmWord Count:
221Work Description
For some, the simple act of touch carries its own difficulties.
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Touch ---such a little thing really
yet the simplest act of hand
touching face makes one feel unique,
treasured, of worth, because the gesture
tells us so. Touch is an
oasis in a stark, dark day
filling us with essential fortitude,
capturing those moments when
there was nothing left
and now . . . something has risen.
Reaching through all reserves and boundaries
to enter the core of what makes me
fully human.
To not be touched
is to bring loneliness,
despair, an emptiness
beyond filling – hard, callous,
cogitating need.
But for some – thank God a chosen few,
touch becomes its own nightmare.
Nerves vibrate as an overly tuned violin,
sharp, setting teeth on edge.
The act of fingers tracing flesh
can bring bittersweet agony
for it hurts to feel
but hurts more not to . . .
there is no happy medium.
Even the softest of touches,
a cashmere blanket,
silken garments caressing the skin,
the act of leaning against something,
a hug . . .
carry their share of anguish,
sometimes leaving you feeling
wretched, tortured, wounded.
That such a gesture,
the promise of intimacy
between two people,
the assurance of humanity,
could create such a
cataclysmic shift in perception,
gives pause . . .
I miss the sweet succor of touch,
the languorous aftermath of spent flesh
being sated with orgasm’s delight.
I miss the fullness
of being human.
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This a beautiful expression of a no win situation. There were so many interesting elements, and your style of writing was both delicate and, as dreamchaser mentioned, truthful. Your word choice and imagery is fantastic.
Nerves vibrate as an overly tuned violin
--Great line! This whole stanza was different from the delicate images that would follow in the next stanza ("cashmere blankets," "silken garments"), and it creates a nice contrast.
Another thing that I think is very interesting with this poem and adds to its thoughtful nature is the first-person narrator's presence in only the first and last stanzas. I love how it begins with the personal perception of touch ("...what makes me fully human") and then falls into a more philosophical tone where the narrator is separtes herself a little from the emotions that she's expressing and even uses the "you" in the fourth stanza. Then at the end, it's back to the first person, connecting the emotions from the middle to the "I," which seems more poignant, as it's clear the narrator is aware of what she is missing.
I also love the introduction back into the first person:
could create such a
cataclysmic shift in perception,
gives pause...
It forces the reader also to pause and prepare for the final thoughts.
The only thing I might change is the first line of the second stanza,
To not be touched
Here it sounds better not to split the infinitive, in my opinion, so perhaps something like
Not to be touched
OR
To be untouched
It's fine as you have it since it's understood and commonly expressed that way, but those are just a couple alternatives.
Anyway, I love your poem, and definitely look forward to reading more from you!
WOW!!!!!
Hey Debbie,
This is a beautiful expression of clearly what is an emotionally charged topic. You beautifully describe the ecstacy and agony of being touched or not being touched - for both are painful and both are torturous. Talking about a catch-22.
The wording and terminology you selected are perfect...the "succor" and the image of an "overly tuned violin" really allow the reader to FEEL what your narrator feels - that vibration of torment under the skin at every little touch - but not wanting it to stop for fear of losing humanity - because that is afterall what makes us really human.
I really have nothing negative to critique you one. The meter and free verse work beautifully in conjunction - even your punctuation is perfect (which I seldom see in poetry I might add - and it is one of my biggest pet peeves). Very Well done! Keep Writing
great poem
really liked it
WOW!
How better can I describe the magic of your words; from your soul, to your pen onto the paper, through our minds - into our souls; Your words, they penetrate the callous shell that would protect the broken parts we try so desperately to conceal.
Indeed you have captured the truth of touch - with all of its comfort and all of its pain, you can weep because you have it, and you can wail for the lack of it. Each time I read your flowing words, your passion screams to be felt, your wisdom begs to be realized. And each time I read them again, I realize that someone out their understands, and yet stands not afraid to expose the life and the death that lie within the truths you offer. Oh that man could ever learn, what a treasured gift he takes so for granted. A better description of touch, I have not found. From all sides you have exposed its beauty and its dreaded curse.
To need each other, as we all do, is a vulnerability of life. But, if we chose to not be vulnuerable, we lose the very reason for our existence, the essence of why our hearts were created, the art of being human.
You put it so well, I hope to one day see this in print for all to share the depth and beauty of your heart. Oh that man will ever learn, and through your words he might.
Please keep writing.