June Challenge, Chapter 3: June 8-10
unedited, flash fiction, june challenge
Published on:
Jun. 9, 2008, 2:39amWord Count:
2374Last Edited:
Jun. 11, 2008, 1:32amWork Description
Month-long daily unedited flash fiction challenge.
See "June Challenge" circle or "June:A Challenge" thread on Community forums for details.
Chapter Description
In: A lunch meeting
Just a Replication: A work of art
Like Oxygen: Something good from something bad
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writers and painters don't get to feel the wind in their face, or
smell the air from so far up. It smells different; cleaner. Not a
day has gone by since that afternoon, sixteen years ago, that I
haven't gone flying. It's like a drug, and I'm definitely addicted.
I suppose next you're going to ask if I go around catching falling babies or saving damsels in distress. I'm no super hero. There's no big S on my shirt. No, the role of Super Woman is still open if there are any takers out there. It may sound selfish or terrible, but flying is something I do for me. It's the only way I can clear my head. Having an outlet was definitely something that came in handy throughout high school and college. It still comes in handy today. More than that, I need it. To me, flying is like oxygen. WIthout it, quite literally, I would be dead.
2122 6/10/08
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I love your entires but I am so confused. Do any of these entries have anythignn to do with each other? I just don't understand your intent. Please, can you make it clear for me? And if it's unclear to me, I bet it is unclear to some others.
Other than that, I see no problems! I love your imaging details and I love the scenarios!
Hey pikachufan,
I can clear that up for you. For the month of June, some people are doing a challenge where they write a one-page story every day, so at the end of the month, they have 30 rough stories.
Anyone can do it, so if you're interested, even though we're almost halfway into the month, you can still join in. Look for the 'June Challenge' circle.
A pretty little thing with short blond hair and a shorter skirt showed me to my table. I watched her carefully as she walked away. Okay, maybe stared is more like it. So shoot me.
Don't move while I reload!
shot me in the leg. It felt like someone, well, it felt like someone shot me in the leg. It was like nothing I'd ever felt before
It felt like a white hot marble jettisoned into my leg, crippling me. And it stung like a sonofabitch. I immediately cringed from all-consuming pain.
Nice writing; I like your style and pace. Outside of the 'pain' suggestion above I feel the writing(s) to be quite perfect. I can see you are well experienced in prose; well thought out and pleasant to read.
I am looking forward to delving into and reading more of your writing.
I think your entries have only gotten better, dnmtwthlsrbm! There were even more great ideas in this volume, and not only ideas - you've done well fleshing out all of these stories, putting in convincing details and thinking through the implications of every scenario.
I was especially impressed by June 9th, the one about the little girl/doll. For a while, I was actually hoping that the story was set in the future, that the narrator was a cheap replica of some sophisticated kind of android. That would've been really cool. But I do like where you went with it. I could see you expanding this piece into a larger work.
While I thought your June 8th entry was solid, the dialogue did verge on cliche throughout - which may very well have been your intention - but for me, it did make the work feel a little less real. It was funny, for sure, but I think the cliche could be balanced out a little bit with some more authentic dialogue.
Great job!