Hi. I have to tell you firstly, I am no good at this not experienced enough or a good enough writer I guess.

So! .....These were my findings.

 It is called "A love song."

It lacks detail and conviction. I as the reader is suppose to feel the love and feel envious of this emotion.

Sometimes when it's late at night

But sleep won't come

 

   It would read better if

"Sometimes late at night when sleep won't come'

 This leaves me almost insecure

As longs as I know you love me too

That's just good enough for me

 

 It is love about two people loving each other and you are expressing your love, why then insecure?

It just lacks the romance and passion.(sorry)

 

I know that life's been rough

But we can see it through

cuz we've got a conquering love

And there's just nothing we can't do

leaves me questioning..........if there was more before this love.....

not convincing........ But I guess you know more than me as the reader. I can understand this.

I'm everything I want to be

In the last bit. Is a strong statement which is great

I like that

 Thank you for sharing, and hope I was of some help.

I think it could be a great song though with some changes.

 Thank you , keep writing.

warmth

Sherry

...this piece has a very honest feel to it, almost the way you'd write a note and leave it on a pillow for that special one to find. There's a real vulnerability here.

For me, the theme of elevating and honoring that one truly special person shines through clearly throughout, though it does seem to come overly simplified. A little more revelation to what some of things this couple have gone through might make the sentiment a bit more real.

In terms of atmosphere, this strikes me as an early morning poem, something written when there's time to set it down and the words can come uninterrupted. I do find that it hurries to the conclusion a bit.

Over all the images are simple and easily recognized, famaliar, like the language that lovers have for each other.

The meter of the poem is consistent, which it would be if this was meant to be a lyric, but as a poem, it tends to be get a touch monotonous. The rhyme is simple, which I find works well in this piece, since the message is simple and honest as well.

The script to this piece is basic, and because of the fact that it is a lyric, somewhat repetitive. In terms of impact, there are some choice phrases.

As pointed out by some of the others, there are a couple of small grammar mishaps, but those can be explained by lack of spell check. On the whole the structure is balanced and true to form

As a lyric, which is meant to be accompanied by song that helps to create the emotional impact, this would succeed. As a poem however, where the words and only the words frame the mental and emotional picture, this piece lacks a little focus and detail. What it does not lack is honesty, which is definetely a plus if it were looked at again in a second draft.