A Strong Woman
short story, drama
Published on:
Feb. 28, 2008, 9:06amWord Count:
2397Work Description
If behind every strong man is a strong woman then how is it that John can cheat on his wife after seventeen years?
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all himself - how he had conducted himself, how embarrassed he
deserved to be. How he didn’t deserve his own wife. It was all a
game and he knew it. Never before had he even considered going this
far. Never before had he even opened his eyes to the opportunities
that other men acted upon. The truth was that he and Susan had
stopped talking long ago. He allowed himself this foray into the
unknown simply because he craved adventure. Their relationship had
stopped being adventurous in every way. It had become mundane and
cumbersome, too sane. There was nothing left that made his heart
beat faster, nothing that excited the senses. It was the moment
that he was to commit the act, that in his mind, was the point of
no return. The actual touch of another woman. The devotion of
bodies meeting for the first time. This is when he realized that if
he did this, he could never return to his wife. This was when he
realized that another woman wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted the
adventure but he wanted it with Susan. Why he realized that at the
worst possible moment he’ll never know. Why he had let it go that
far without finding the adventure with his wife, the woman he still
obviously loved -the woman he had considered his soul mate all
these years was beyond him. Especially since she probably wanted
the same. This was why he apologized and excused himself from the
other woman’s house before taking that final irrefutable step and
returned to the woman he couldn’t deny any longer.
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I found the storyline, told from the two protagonists point of view, to be interest-provoking. As a reader, I wanted to read all the way to the end to see how a situation that so many couples have or will face would turn out.
I felt the beginning and middle of the story to be well drawn out as far as details and insights; the conclusion perhaps a little less so, with a pat, unsurprising ending--which in and of itself is not a negative, but does draw more attention to the skimpier details at the conclusion.
That being said, there were some spelling errors "In darkness Susan starred at the glow of the monitor;" " She was a stay at home wife which had been a decision" as examples. ("Stared" and "stay-at-home" the corrections.)
In addition, there were more than a few errors in grammar/punctuation: "In darkness Susan starred at the glow of the monitor -her face a wash of all color and;" "They’ve been arguing lately about not being as close as they should be.;" and "John pulled up to the driveway of his mistress apartment." ("monitor--her" "They'd" and "mistress's" the corrections.)
Some of the paragraphs are a bit run-on, but that could be easily fixed.
All-in-all, this piece is very salvageable and deserves the attention to detail to make it an excellent example of writing.
Well Mr. Moody...
For someone who not much into the romance writing, you have most definitely conquered the heart of the reader! I like to write newly created romances but you have the talent to write the kind that readers may be able to relate to better. I write fairy tales (course I believe in fairy tales) and you have written something more true to life and realistic. Can't say that I have had the experience of the kind of love and life you have written here, but who knows someday maybe. I really liked the piece... You must be a man who knows the reality of true love! Good for you... The words you used, held a certain power as you wrote them, maybe you should consider a new genre...LOL! I look forward to more of "whatever" you decide to write...I find I have become a bigger fan...write on...