Hello, Eli! I've read this new piece of yours and here's my two cents.

 I dig the theme you came up with about how a person feels when in love with that person.

 Now for the rhyme & meter:

Last night I had a dream, where we kissed one hundred times,

I felt the kindness of the future, when I looked into your eyes,

I vaugely saw a smile as you placed your hand in mine,

Hold my head up one more time, before we say goodbye,

 

This one and the lines after it flowed nicely except For "escape" and "fate".

 One more thing: you forgot to capitalize the I in "i've".

 Well, that's it for me dude. I gotta say that was very well written despite one grammar-wise flaw.

Hope you come see what I have coming up soon. So keep it locked for me, aight! Holla!

The mood is captured effectively, its very romantic. I like it.

There wasn't that much imagery, which isn't bad, but I think this poem could use some more imagery or some metaphors or something. Maybe just to add some more interest, but its not that it needs it. Its fine without them, but you could probably improve the poem if you added some. :]

I liked your metering, but there were sometimes when it seemed off.

You put your arms around me, the veins throbbing in my hand,

I'm too shy to speak right now, in my world of pretend,

Pretend didn't seem to rhyme to me, or the beat seemed off.

Nothing in the depths of Hell, could take my smile away, 
I want to be with you so bad, lets go, we'll leave today,.

There's a coma and a period, I just want to point out, but also the "lets go," kind of makes it .. not fit. I don't know how to explain it, it just seems off, or maybe that you ran out of rhymes and was forcing it. Otherwise, I really like the metering and the rhyming.

The vocabulary is simple, but I like it. It sends a very clear message, and further sets the mood. :]

Your grammar seemed great, I noticed the "i've" in "the treasure that i've found," should be capitalized.

But I also have an idea. You used a lot of comas. And I mean a LOT of comas. I get that this is the spacing, its to make it work better, but what if you hit return instead? like:

Last night I had a dream,

Where we kissed one hundred times, 
I felt the kindness of the future,

When I looked into your eyes, 
I vaguely saw a smile as you placed your hand in mine,
Hold my head up one more time, before we say goodbye,

It would mess up the a-a-b-b thing you have here, but its just a suggestion. That was it wont seem as rushed, and might get rid of some comas.

[The coma in the last sentence worked, I think, because "before we say goodbye" wasn't good in a new line. So it works there, just in case you were wondering.]

This is very well written, I like the intensity of your love. :]

I also really liked the line where you lie in the sand together. Thats sort of unconventional, but I like it. :]

Maybe consider my suggestions? Good job. :]