Dirty Laundry
drama, romance, non-fiction, poetry
Published on:
April 9, 9:24pmWord Count:
556Last Edited:
April 9, 10:47pmWork Description
This is my first post. I'm new here, but I've been writing a while.
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She's so strong
They whispered
She hasn't cried a bit
Poor thing, she's too young
Surely she'll find another
They were finally gone
And I was all alone
All their sympathetic mumblings
Wouldn’t keep me warm tonight
I walked the tightrope
I kept it together
I did alright
I wasn’t ready to dive
Into that pool of tears
Just yet
I’ll just have a nap
A little slumber to escape
I’ll meet you in my dreams
Once again
I walked into the room we shared
It was just the way we left it
Rumpled covers
And too many pillows
But then....
There was that damn shirt
Hanging on the foot of the bed
Right where you always left it
I didn’t want to touch it
But it called to me
Like a memory that just wouldn’t let go
Fingertips brushed across the fabric
Of my pain
Damn it, damn it
Stop...
But my hands do not obey
I grab it up and hold it close
Your scent filters into my consciousness
All those memories come flooding back
I want more
Your closet and a pile of dirty clothes
Tossed casually into a corner
The only remnant of who you were
The decision is already made
I cannot control the end
There is a corner waiting
To pull me in
I close my eyes
And you are there again
Those hard corners a poor substitute
For the comfort of your arms
I pull each piece upon me
One by one
Each one a part of you
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Discussion
Wow, this is a really powerful poem, and I've got to say I actually really enjoyed reading it.
The first stanza did exactly what it was meant to; set the scene and grab the reader's attention, and it definitely did that. It's generally well structured and the short, uneven lines and stanzas fits the tone of this poem.
The only things I didn't like so much was that it seemed repetitive in places. I get the meaning behind repeating some of the things, but some of the stanzas seemed pointless.
I hold it close /God, how I miss you /I will never feel those strong arms /About me again
This is an example: Alone, it's still a powerful stanza but no new information is being given by this. The reader gets the feeling of continuous without having to feel like they're caught in it too.
The last stanza seems a slight disappointment, considering the quality of the previous writing. Particularly:
Death spun the wheel
Is there another way to phrase this, to make it as memorable as the rest?
All in all, thanks for a great, emotional read ![]()
It's beautiful and heartfelt. It expresses true sadness. It shows how all our sensations can remind us of all our memories.
It was very believable and shows how strong she is. The guests at her house after the funeral seem very typical and believable. I can really see the scene where the woman smells all the clothes.
Beautiful, heartfelt descriptions!
The woman really shows her emotions.
It almost makes me want to cry.



I like how the strength that the exterior world percieves the narrator to hold is contrasted against the "sobbing mess" that the narrator's inner world is comprised of. The narrator seems to view their sympathy and admiration with a well-deserved hostility; no matter how much people tell her or think she is strong it doesn't make the lonely nights seem any shorter. The piece seems to speak of the alienation that is so common in modern civil society; reminiscent of the housewife who paints a smile on to go see the ladies from church, or the man who feigns strength for his familly. The narrator is reeling from a loss and about halfway through the poem a proverbial wall seems to break and an indefinate numbness is exchanged for a sharp, but temporary despondancy. The narrator is in agony by the end section of the poem, but once the tears have dried, the reader can safely presume that the smell of loss wore off on the clothes and that the protagonist of the poem was able to pull herself up: no longer in the depths of mourning and no longer numb from holding back: able for the first time since a loss to look around and realize that she is alive. That's at least what I drew from the piece, though I of course could be completely off. I really like this poem, it's flow is great, themes solid and reads well. The narrator's emotions come through the writing very well, and it is very up-close and personal. Excellent Work!