Darkness of birth
poetry, biography
Published on:
July 9, 7:54amWord Count:
263Work Description
Expression I feel is a big healer .. the ability to express our thoughts, our fears, our emotions, our turmoil. Yet, even more so is the ability to cast away that which for many may in fact be our chains to the past. Holding us back from moving forward and claiming our very being for ourselves.
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The joy of life,
and miracles of birth
My star did shine,
my very being had worth.
But with this beginning ,
came person no1.
With many sins to lay hidden,
so many years to shun.
Though peaceful rainbows ,
did come back to shine
Great people to love,
alas family of mine.
Was person no.2 who with might,
the woe that he did bring
For a great many to hide,
their pain and suffering.
In many years to grow,
the need to run
That would lay hidden,
upon many a sun.
But within that end,
came a 3rd and 4th
To grace this souls path,
before my footsteps went forth.
Wings of freedom ,
that I did sought
And through great counsell,
demons I did wrought.
Came memories of love,
and ideals of being
But hard knocks to this soul,
and trust did dent.
To seek a haven,
one wish so pure
But to awaken,
to hells cruel lure.
As the figure of no.5 ,
took upon his wrath
For what he had glistened
I did not layeth.
Stars shone bright,
with births so sweet
Though true happiness and glee,
I did not meet.
As the door awakened,
to lifes new path
My feet did wander,
to a brighter hearth.
For the goddesses,
they did shine the way
My soul awakened,
to a brand new day.
As now those demons,
are layed to rest
I can see clearly,
at what I once would jest.
As happiness n light,
I find in new ppls that I meet
For the darkness I know,
I shall win and beat.
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Hey Emily,
Essentially I took this poem as a heart-song; it has the rolling lilt of a simple song winding down through the stanzas. That being said, I was left feeling as if the end didn't justify the means to a certain extent. This poem is obviously very personal, and telling, but there seemed to be more that needed to be said about the interactions with the men that have been passing in and out of the narrators life, something that would give a clearer understanding of how much light is being shed on the end situation.
There's a real work of hope at play here that needs some polishing, some depth to tell us why we should feel the joy of the end that we see. I would love to hear more...
J.A.T
Emily,
I am reading this poem as the last one for the evening. My intention was to read it and bid good night, but there are some things I wanted to point out after reading some other comments.
One commenter mentioned about men going in and out of your life. It's ironic that I had a totally different perspective. I was thinking about each of my deliveries and how each child impacted me while I was maturing.
The poem in a long list was so easy to read. I picked up speed as I drew closer and closer to the end. Even though you had a rhyming scheme, I didn't notice it while I was reading, because it was more like random thoughts that popped in my head so that's where I was...watching your thoughts bubble in my head. That was a clever feeling...eerie but not intrusive.
I love poetry you don't try to figure out while you read it...it's geared to set a mood and you go where the beat takes you...this poem was not about the words as it was about the rhythm and I find that to be a unique talent...one that causes great envy in me.
You are quite unique, Emily. I look forward to reading more of your work. Thanks for the trip. It was very pleasing to end a long day.
Louisa Gholson
There is so much going on in this piece and it takes awhile to digest it. It covers the gamut of emotions in a most profound way. I like the symbolism you show with the numbers - still not sure I understood what they all really meant, but that's what poetry is all about. Sometimes it takes a second and third read to fully appreciate the author's intent. Below are my favorite stanzas because to me they represented the transition of the events happening in this piece.
Stars shone bright,
with births so sweet
Though true happiness and glee,
I did not meet.
As the door awakened,
to lifes new path
My feet did wander,
to a brighter hearth.
For the goddesses,
they did shine the way
My soul awakened,
to a brand new day.
I like poems that end on high notes, you might say that is my outlook on life, Anyhow, the tempo, the rhymning scheme, and the word choice in this piece are all in sync, enabling this poem to really shine!!!
Great job!!
Dossie