wow,  i loved ure work. it was an excellent beginning to the start of wat hoes to be a triumphant and mystically spellbinding tale that shall shake the very foundations of the authors community. i found it interesting how you began the story with the death of the queen, and that the queen died without announcing the successor of the throne, which opens up a dark and winding road of possibly treachery and alliances. Also i love the diversity that one of the sisters is a merfolk, which could open different paths in her story line. im also puzzled with which point of view you are going to go from. unfortunately, there were parts of the story that had to disagree with, for instance when the queen had died, why did the eldest sister announce the contest and not someone of more significance, such as the king, or the high priest, of some sort. Also you did not completely focus on characters that might be much more important than others, such as the king, for example. besides that, i loved ure work.

 *** You have the writings of a wonderful fairy tale. I'm sure there were minor mistakes but I was too engrossed to look for them...I truly hope that there will be more, for I shall surely read the rest of the tale. Your discriptions were well written I was able to visualize perfectly. You have a special talent I hope you go far with it! Bravo! Write on!***

 Wow, I loved this! I really liked how you made it simple and easy to read. I'm impressed and I cannot wait to read the rest....and there better be more... lol

I'll see you later..

~*Brittany*~

Whoa! I didn't even realize the chapter and story discriptions!

Now I'm even more anxious to see what happens next and how the story now ties in with the descriptions!

I'll be waiting!

~*Brittany*~

Good little prologue you have here.  It sets up the story well.

I know it's already short, but I'd work on slimming and condensing.  For example:

The people surrounding her, family members, mages, healers, and fellow rulers, stared concernedly at her thin face. They leaned in to hear what she said.

This sentence could be more concise by cutting out "The people surrounding her", since you name the people right after that statement.

The women all looked expectantly at their mother, who's mouth was closed and smiling. She seemed to be sleeping, but they knew otherwise. She had gone without passing the throne!

"Who's" should be "whose".  And the last sentence here I don't think is needed.  Since she died and she didn't say who would be the queen, then this conclusion follows.  If you decide to keep it, I'd take out the exclamation to make the line more solemn.

Slimming down sentences will allow you on certain areas that can be expanded on without getting too wordy.  Right after Queen Crysyen dies, the oldest sister stands and tells the other sisters what their quest will be.  This confused me a bit.  She seems to be taking charge and is already the leader.  Perhaps this line could be spoken by some other character, a wise man maybe, that could play a role in the story later on.

Since this is a prologue, it should be riddled with mystery.  Perhaps don't explain your characters.  Maybe you don't say that the three women are sisters.  Maybe create more competitiveness between the three girls.  If you throw in the wise-man figure, don't say who he is, just give him a name and let him speak.  The story later on will explain who the characters are.  If you can think of anything else that would make your reader think, "What's going on?" I'd put it in there.  In my opinion, a great prologue creates a lot of mystery to throw your readers into the story.

I enjoyed this brief prologue very much.  You have some skill.  Good luck with it!  Thanks for sharing.

 healers circling her stared concernedly at her thin face.

"Concernedly", while a word, read very strange.  Furthermore, being an adverb, leaves you open for more description to show their concern.  Is there an action that you can use to describe their concern?  Wringing their hands?  If you don't want to go that route, just the act of staring at a dying woman, the reader would probably assume that they are concerned.  I feel the same for all the adverbs in this piece. 

 I, Lady Seirian, am tall and slight, with auburn hair and piercing green eyes. 

It is strange when the POV character describes themselves.  One wouldn't say, "I have piercing green eyes" in real life. 

I, Lady Seirian, am tall and slight, with auburn hair and piercing green eyes.  Younger than me, Essylla is shorter, but has the same slim build as Fenna and me.  She is very tan, and had honey-brown hair that sparkled like gold in the light; her eyes were of the deepest azure.  The last, and youngest, is of the merfolk's kind: her father was a mage and had chosen her race.  Her hair was royally purple, and she had eyes as gray as storm clouds.  We all awaited the last words from our dying Queen and mother.

 

This paragraph tells us, instead of showing us, the story.  The best way around this is to tell the details in action.  One sister does this, then add a little detail and perhaps personal thought about her.  I hope that makes sense. As it reads, it's a bit biographical, instead of fiction. 

No sound came forth from the Queen's lips.

This is an important line here.  It deserves to stand alone. Don't be afraid to take up space.

You have a good start here.  I have to apologize for the short critique.  I'm out of my area when it comes to fantasy writing.  I find my self over questioning everything, like what is a merfolk and mage?  You certainly started at the right place of the story, though, which is important.  I do feel that this piece needs more action and some description of the setting is important.  I want to see and smell the room.  I want to hear things. This is especially important with fantasy writing to make the "other" world seem real.

Good start.

Amber

I enjoyed the revision.  You shifted the perspective (which I enjoyed) but I must warn you that 1st person narratives can make it more difficult to tell a story, depending upon what it is you want to show.  A 1st person narrative will have limited scope, but can be great showing character development and keeping the story personal.  With that said, there are some times when the narrative point of view shifts into third person.

I, Lady Seirian, am tall and slight, with auburn hair and piercing green eyes.

The old man repeated this procedure for my two siblings as well, showing them pictures to guide them.

In the first quotation, I think "tall and slight, with auburn hair" works, but the "piercing" part does not.  That is a subjective trait and it makes the narrative seem quite vain.  (So if you're trying to make her sound vain, keep it in, but make a point of juicing up her vanity throughout the piece.)  Also, this paragraph in which the descriptions of the daughters takes place is kind of bulky.  It slows down the flow.  I would suggest starting with a description the way you do, with people gathered around the Queen's bed.  Before she speaks, this would be an ideal time to give your descriptions of the narrator and her sisters, but keep it concise.  This may also be a good time to hint towards the wise man in the crowd, perhaps naming him or giving him a leading role in the "death ceremony."  (The "death ceremony" is just what I picture, so, perhaps you could make this more ceremonial, but of course you don't have to.)

After giving a sort of quick setting sketch, this is when you could have the Queen speak.  (Also, instead of caling her "the Queen", I'd have the narrator call her "mother.")

In the second quotation, the part of the comma is not needed.  It is assumed without having to say it, plus, you can't be 100% sure that is what the old man is doing with them since the narrator cannot know.

As hinted at above, I wouldn't call the wise man:

A hunkered old man

If you start off naming him, then his status can be set up.  Also, calling him "hunkered" makes him sound decrepit and doesn't make him seem all the important.

So, in summation, I'd focus on:

1.  Nailing down the 1st person POV.  What you need to find is distinct voice.  This should not be your voice, but the voice of your character.  So as you write, take on her persona, imagine her, who she is, what she likes, etc.  Maybe write out a sketch of her to really get her inside your head.

2.  Description where description is needed. 

He wore a faded green robe, long black shoes, and a tarnished silver amulet around his wrinkled neck.

He extended two fingers from each hand, placed them on either side of my temples.

The first quotation does a good job with description.  It's a one sentence and it gives character as well as a physical description.  The second could perhaps use an adjective in front of "two fingers" just to really make this piece solid.  You do a good job with description, just make sure to incorporate it throughout the whole piece.

3.  Story development.  For a prologue, this is rather short and I'd like to have something that keeps me hanging just a little bit more.  Perhaps set up a rivalry between the sisters.  The King isn't present, so perhaps his absence could be mentioned to make the reader wonder about it.  The wise man could have some history with these sisters, perhaps he was their personal teacher as they were growing up and perhaps the narrator was his favorite?  I would suggest trying to double the size of this piece (just another 500 words) to maybe work out any ideas that might work.  After expanding it, let it sit for a day or two and then cut down 10% of it (so 100 words). 

I really enjoyed what you have written here.  I'd say it's very much improved and I can tell you're passionate about it.  I think you as a writer have potential and so does this piece.  I spent some time on this critique because you showed a good amount of improvement and I think you can even go further.  Good job and keep it up!