Dreams
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Life was brilliant, perfect, amazing
One day was flying,
the next walking through walls,
the next going to the moon,
the next seeing God's face.
I always thought that's what dreams were,
a little piece of perfection,
that God chose to show me
There were lions and tigers and bears,
there were birthday parties,
there were teenage mutant ninja turtles
When I dreamed
When I got older I still dreamed
I dreamed of dunking from the free throw line,
of hitting the game winning shot,
catching the 80 yard touchdown pass,
I would stand out in the yard throwing myself the ball so that I could be ready
So that when the time came I would write my name in history
I dreamed of running faster and farther
of jumping higher and longer
than anyone else in the world
and then standing on the podium
chin down, fist up
But then the world said that these were foolishly conceived dreams
the world said that there will be no game winning shots, not for me
There will be no free throw line dunks, no 80 yard touchdown passes
So I stopped throwing the ball to myself
Then the world told me that the teenage mutant ninja turtles are not real
I guess that explains why I'd never seen them in the flesh
Imagine my shock when I found out
That birthdays come only once a year
That flight cannot be achieved by running, jumping and flapping your arms
That humans can't walk through walls
"But mom" I cried,
and I don't mean cried like one tear ran down my cheek,
I mean cried like my face was a river.
"I flew last night, I conquered life, walls were no obstacles and I met Leonardo,
"That was just a dream" was the somber reply.
In that instant I learned that dreams are wasted life.
I learned that nine to five is the Real Dream.
Dollar signs and fancy cars
And now... what a sad life,
for me at least,
I sacrificed my dreams
Hung 'em on a cross and said,
"No thanks God, I need my sleep"
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Hey that was really cool the way you expressed. I found this site by accident and have found this site to be filled with so many talented writers like yourself. I thank you and everyone for sharing your works with us all to enjoy, WAY TO GO! But wow those are strong feelings up there. I too am looking forward to looking at more fo you stuff. I like how you show that it doesn't take much for someone to burst our baloons. But I do hope you are able to enjoy your dreams, if only in your dreams.
Fine work on dreams. I wake up from ost of mine screaming and am glad it was "only" a dream. But to dream as you describe and wake up and find out it was "only" a dream...
I really like this piece. It's very deep and it's written really well. It's very good. I wish dreams were real sometimes...
VERY EXPRESSIVE...MUCH FEELING!
THOUGH IT WAS MORE OF AN INTERNAL MONOLOGUE, THE PIECE WAS CONSTRUCTED TO CAPTURE A PARTICLAR PORTION IN THE LIFE OF MOST CHILDREN.
OBJECTIVELY HOWEVER, YOU STILL DREAM WHETHER AWAKE OR NOT. JUST LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE MANAGED TO CREATE.
P.S. TRY BEING A FEMALE, JAMAICAN POET....THAT WOULD MAKE ANYONE WANT TO GIVE UP ON HER DREAMS.....NEVER!
This was a short essay, not a poem. No rhyme, no pattern, no exciting imagery and weird way of saying things we all know. You could easily take all of the line breaks in this piece and try to extend it into a short story, or leave it like it is as simply a small essay. However, leaving it in it's current form as a poem seems misleading. Makes me wonder why after all of these "critiques", I am the first person to note this. Do other people read this and think, "Oh, this is a great poem." Maybe I am missing something.
Dream on, J Charles Silko, Dream on! I mean this in a good way too! I loved the way that you made the poem, when you say "I remember when I dreamed life was brilliant, perfect, amazing". It reminds me of many stories of people (Kids, women, men, et cetera) dreaming of what they want to do later in life. It also reminds me of why I came here on scribophile in the first place. It was because I am trying to do romance novels that I wanted people on this site to love, and so far they do. Maybe you should call this poem title ambition instead of Dreams. My favorite part of this was about the birthday parties, tigers, lions and teenage mutant ninja turtles when you had dreames. Pretty good dream that you had made there. Keep up the good work! I wish to hear more of your poems and I wish to hear more of you!