I thought I was going crazy trying to crit your chapter 4. I guess you were editing at the same time. Things kept jumping around, and I read a couple of the same things twice, yet when I went back, the first page was totally different! It was very freaky! I'm going to wait a few minutes and then go back and try again!

Oh...I did want to ask your opinion on something if you're still around.

Thanks! I always like stories in first person where it seems like the narrator is having a conversation with the audience. My style has been more conversational. Could be why my profs hated me in college LOL

My husband went to St Lawrence for his freshman year, then transferred to Temple in Philly, where I met him (1957). He was born in Malone. I'll have to read your Memoir. No time now, but soon.

Thank you! I have some published author friends who think so too. When I write, I don't do outlines or anything like that. I put Iron Maiden on my head phones and I take off. its like the story writes itself and I have to keep up LOL...More than anything, I wanted to see if the idea I have and the stuff I got so far, if it seems decent or if the whole thing is just goofy. My friends all like it, but I know they aren't always the best critics. i could write it in crayon and they'd like it LOL

Thanks, Janice. It's part of a memoir, archived now, but still available if you want to read.

Thank you for the great feedback!

My rough drafts tend to be very rough. Not to mention, this is my first attempt at fiction in about 5 years. Everything you said makes sense.

When I do my second draft, I will print the entire thing out and re-write it from start to finish, fleshing it all out and I'll keep in mind your feedback. When doing the first draft, my goal is to get it on paper before I lose the ideas. Then I clean it up later. I really appreciate this. Thank you.

Thanks for the critique on Bull Creek. (poetry) It was not an experience I'd care to repeat. Not in this lifetime nor the next. Made a good story, though!

When I edit Bull Creek, I will carefully consider your suggestions.

I appreciate your compliments about the descriptive passages. If you go for a ride in Florida, WEAR BOOTS.

Hi there:

Thanks for the comments. You are right, i didn't write the whole poem when I typed it and i didn't realize i was missing stanzas! I can't believe i did that. No wonder it sounded so odd.

Please read again now that it is fully presented.

Thanks again,

Dev

Thank you for your critique of "Sauerkraut," and your compliments. I appreciate it!