Jase Jayne


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Hello Jase,
Thanks for you critique of Apple Tree. I've gotten lots of feedback and it seems to all flow in the same direction, so I have a good idea of how to revise. Thanks for your input.
-Ben
Thanks for you critique of Apple Tree. I've gotten lots of feedback and it seems to all flow in the same direction, so I have a good idea of how to revise. Thanks for your input.
-Ben
hey, thanks so much for your thoughtful comments on my poem! you certainly delved into the various aspects of the symbolism, and i love that. i get to see my writing with new meaning through another's eyes. 
i appreciate you taking the time to read and send me feedback--very cool. thanks, jase.
i appreciate you taking the time to read and send me feedback--very cool. thanks, jase.
hi, jase--
welcome!
(firefly AND winnie the pooh!! yyyyeah!! )
i look forward to reading your work.
welcome!
(firefly AND winnie the pooh!! yyyyeah!! )
i look forward to reading your work.
Hello Jase,
Man Without a Country, is that a newer book of essays? I haven't read that one, but Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons is what started me on Vonnegut many years ago. I'll have to check it out.
Oh and welcome to Scribophile.
-Ben
Man Without a Country, is that a newer book of essays? I haven't read that one, but Wampeters, Foma and Granfalloons is what started me on Vonnegut many years ago. I'll have to check it out.
Oh and welcome to Scribophile.
-Ben
| Name: | Jason Jayne |
| Sex: | Male |
| Location: | Auburn New York |
| Birthday: | Dec. 1, 1986 |
| Words Written: | 1251 |
| Hottest Words: | parents, dad, time, kids, divorce, spent |
About Me
| Occupation: | Working in a factory. Huzzah? |
| About Me: | Currently I'm attending Union Institute and University, studying independently in the Finger Lake Region of New York trying to earn my degree in child psychology, with the goal of being a play therapist in mind. I love writing short fiction and memoir, and occasionally dabble in poetry (but not often). I have a lovely girlfriend who I am in the process of moving in with. Generally, I can't find the time to write very often in between everything, so don't expect updates of my work very often. |
| Interests: | Writing short stories and creative non-fiction, hiking, back packing, canoing, sitting around and bullshitting, philosophy and nature. |
| Favorite Books: | Collected works of Amy Hempel, Man Without a Country by Vonnegut, Catcher in the Rye/Franny and Zooey by Salinger, Tuesdays With Morrie. |
| Favorite TV Shows: | FireFly and Winnie the Pooh. |
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Latest Works
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This is part of a memoir I am trying to write about my early child hood when my parents were getting divorced. It's unfinished, and doesn't really have an ending, but I wanted to get some feed back on it before I continue.
Second versio... » Read...
Second versio... » Read...
Latest Critiques and Comments
Showing 4 of 9 critique and comments.
On Fallen Leaf, by Taylor Smith:
I have no real problems with the last two paragraphs. It
actually ends quite beautifully, in my opinion. And th... » Read more...
On Boomerang, by Bob Onnie: Opening Comments
This was pretty decent for a first draft work, though it does
need touching up.
Themes
This is probably j... » Read more...
On Oil and Water, by Jase Jayne: Thanks for the suggestions. I know what you mean by "showing and
not telling." My writing teacher while I was going to
... » Read more...
On After Reading Camus, by Michael Bourgoise: Opening Comments
I enjoyed this poem quite a lot, so thought I'd leave a short
critique. (or what will hopefully be shor... » Read more...



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