L.N.S.A, Chapter 1: So It Begins
alma, sin, los nino, military, thriller, fiction, jesse, lnsa
Published on:
Mar. 30, 2008, 6:14amWord Count:
3889Last Edited:
Mar. 30, 2008, 6:29amWork Description
They were believe to be dead, but how wrong they were. Now the group known as the Los Nino’s Sin Alma ( The Children Without Souls) have one thing in mind, the total demise of every living thing.
Chapter Description
They were believe to be dead, but how wrong they were.
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had come to an end that night, others, who noticed the blast, had
no chance of escaping from it, or even say a quick prayer before
their demise. For those around America watching the event on
television, they witnessed the first Nuclear Attack on American
soil.
January 1, 2021
12:00 A.M.
Brice: You monster!
???: Funny, I could say the same thing about you.
Brice: Those people!
???: Were already dead before this event, and you know it.
Brice: What do you want?
???: Your blood.
Brice: . . .
???: As of right now, Los Nino’s Sin Alma declare war on the Companies.
Brice: You’re just one man.
???: No, I have my brothers and Sisters.
Brice: For the love of God, it can’t be.
???: You should have done a better job in trying to exterminate us.
Brice: I’ll fix that, I’ll make sure to put you six feet underground. You have my word on that.
???: Talk is cheap, Brice.
Brice: I’ll find each and every one of you, If it’s the last thing I do.
???: By the way, Brice, I would stay off the phone. You see we found a way through all your little security systems, and let's say, we’ve been listing.
Brice: You son of a bitch.
???: See you soon, Brice, see you real soon.
- Call Ended-
" Guess I wasn’t the only one listing."
CHAPTER 1
Hour 1
January 1, 2021
Iceland
4:00 A.M.
Outpost 1: God damn, I’m freezing my nuts off.
Outpost 2: Shit, I wish I was home. I hate the fucking snow.
Nolan: Will you ladies please shut the hell up, and just report your fucking status.
Outpost 1: Easy for you to say.
Outpost 2: Yeah, you’re inside that nice little building, warming your bones with a nice shot of Vodka.
Nolan: Mmm, mmm, so good.
Outpost 1: Lucky bastard.
Nolan: Back to business, gentlemen.
Outpost 1: All clear on this side.
Nolan: What about you, Ron?
Outpost 2 : Everything is ok. . . . What the hell was that?
Nolan: What’s the matter?
Outpost 2: I think I saw something. Jake, Winslow, check it out.
Nolan: Ron, you okay?
Outpost 2: I saw something move.
Nolan: What was it?
Outpost 1: Probably his ex-wife?
Outpost 2: Shut up, this isn’t funny.
Outpost 1: What? She might be after some child support.
Outpost 2: Go to hell, Dave.
Nolan: Knock it off, both of you.
Outpost 2: Oh, my God, JAKE, RUN!
Nolan: What’s going on?
Outpost 2: What the hell is that thing?
-Gun Fire Erupts-
Nolan: Ron, what’s happing? Answer me, damn it!
Outpost 2: KILL IT, KILL IT!
Nolan: Dave, do you see anything?
Outpost 1: Holy shit, man, it looks like the fourth of July over there.
Nolan: Get over there as quick as you can and assist Outpost 2. I’m sending back up ASAP.
Outpost 1: Okay. I’m heading over there now . . . Who the hell are you?
Nolan: Dave?
Outpost 1: Oh, SHIT!
Nolan: Dave!
Outpost 1: . . . . . . . . .
Nolan: RON!
Outpost 2: . . . . . . . .
Nolan: Someone answer me!
Underground Base
4:00 AM
" System Failure"
the jarring sound of the computerized voice sent every person in the base into a frenzy as they feared the worse case scenario, unaware of what was transpiring around them, only
" That can’t be good." One staff worker said to another.
" Are we going to die?" The other one asked.
Command Center
4:01 A.M.
Nina Novak, the head security Chef of the entire facility, stood in silence as she observed the technicians (all MIT grads, who seemed young enough to be her sons) as they worked frantically to solve the issue with the sudden blaring alarms. Once again "The
Tech Rats" (a nickname that had been bestowed by the soldiers around the base, for their unique skill of sniffing out problems, just like a rat looking for cheese in a maze. It was slogan which had caught on like wild fire, and ended up being a title for them. One



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To be honest with you, this is very hard to read, line by line dialogue, with no sense of setting or character, just straight dialogue. I think it would all be enhanced if written in a traditional style, giving the readers a sense of what's going on, it'd be much easier to read. Just my opinion. Hope it helps.