L.N.S.A, Chapter 1: So It Begins
alma, sin, los nino, military, thriller, fiction, jesse, lnsa
Published on:
Mar. 30, 2008, 6:14amWord Count:
3889Last Edited:
Mar. 30, 2008, 6:29amWork Description
They were believe to be dead, but how wrong they were. Now the group known as the Los Nino’s Sin Alma ( The Children Without Souls) have one thing in mind, the total demise of every living thing.
Chapter Description
They were believe to be dead, but how wrong they were.
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a task for all of us." Serj turned his back, and made his way down.
Gurlukovish hated to be orderrd around, especially by such a young man like Serj, but ,it would be unwise of him to step on Serj bad side. Only a fool with a death wish would dare cross that line. "You heard him, move out." Gurlukovish ordered his men, as they made prepared to make there descent down the hill.
January 1, 2021
1:40 A.M
Unknown: Is it this Brice?
Brice: Yes.
Unknown: Oh, my God.
Brice: Don’t worry. You’re safe where you're at.
Unknown: They might come after me.
Brice: You have my word that no harm will come to you.
Unknown: Thank you.
Brice: What about the project?
Unknown: What about it?
Brice: You think it’s ready for an early field test?
Unknown: Brice, I can’t do that.
Brice: I don’t care, I want it ready to go.
Unknown: You can’t do this.
Brice: Like hell I can't.
Unknown: Give me a couple more months.
Brice: We don’t have months, we need it now.
Unknown: . . .
Brice: I’m sorry to do this, but, it needs to be done.
Unknown: I have something else.
Brice: What are you talking about?
Unknown: Another project we’ve been working on.
Brice: How come I wasn’t told about this?
Unknown: We didn’t know if it would work.
Brice: What is it?
Unknown: What do you know about the Tree Of Life project?
Brice: Tree Of Life?
Unknown: I’m sending you a file via e-mail. This should catch you up.
Brice: Fine, I’ll take a look at it.
Unknown: You won’t regret it.
- Call ended-
"I love hearing mama’s voice."
To Be Continued . . .
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To be honest with you, this is very hard to read, line by line dialogue, with no sense of setting or character, just straight dialogue. I think it would all be enhanced if written in a traditional style, giving the readers a sense of what's going on, it'd be much easier to read. Just my opinion. Hope it helps.