Print body’s cold, stiff, just like he was filled with ice. He’ll never get up from that table, she thought and started to cry silently, her wide shoulders convulsing as the sobs came.

 

Dr. Tobeck slid the plastic bag across the desk using only the tips of his fingers. “These are his possessions. I’ll leave you alone for a moment. I’ll be back to discuss the matter of his remains.” He closed the door behind him, and Eleanore was alone.

 

She opened the plastic bag and pulled out his wallet, then threw the empty bag back on the table. One hundred and forty-two dollars. She folded it in half and stuck it in her pocket. As she closed the wallet an old photograph caught her eye. Him and her standing on a beach, many years ago, years before the cancer stole his life, years before his ice cold body was laying on that steel table.

 

It was their first vacation, their honeymoon really, though by the time they’d saved enough money and secured time off from his job, they’d been married seven years. The wind was blowing off the Atlantic, chilling them as they walked along the beach. Nag’s Head, North Carolina was his choice. He’d passed through on a delivery for the Win Dixie downtown and fell in love with the area.

 

Not five minutes after that picture was taken by an old man they passed on the beach, she stepped on a jellyfish washed up on shore. Up to that point, walking barefoot on the beach, wet sand squishing between her toes, seemed like the most natural thing in the world, like butter with biscuits. The pain changed her mind though.

 

George picked her up like she was his new bride and carried her all the way back to the cabin they’d rented. It was nearly two miles. He never complained, he never made her feel like a burden, he never made her feel anything other than that he would’ve carried her just for the fun of it, just for the intimacy it brought.

 

Now it’s my turn, she thought. Now I gotta start carrying him like that. God I wish I could use my shoulders and not my heart, though. My shoulders are broad, and still pretty strong, but my heart’s hurting so bad right now it’s gonna be tough. What choice have I got? What else can I do? go back there and lay down on the table with him, go see if I can get my body as cold as his? die right along with him? I could do that. That’d be a lot easier than the other thing. Maybe I’d get to see him again, too.

 

Eleanore stared at the faded picture. He was a good looking man, but not in the traditional sense. With his broad nose, flat forehead, and wide jaw, he wouldn’t have made the cover of any of those magazines in the beauty parlor, but she always found undescribable beauty in him, that certain beauty you find when someone loves you back. His big arm was around her waist in the picture, holding her close. Those big arms had carried her when she couldn’t walk. He didn’t give up on her, how could she give up on him? how could she give up on herself?

 

She felt the muscles of her face tighten, suddenly her neck felt stronger. The faintest traces of a smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. I’m gonna get through this, she thought. Now it’s my turn. Now I get to carry him.

 

She slipped the picture in her pocket as she heard the door opening. It was that doctor, back to 'discuss the remains’. God, I don’t want to do this, she thought. Help me, George.

 

“Hi, Ms. Parnell,” Dr. Tobeck said as he sat across from her again, this time with a small stack of papers in his hand. “As I said earlier, we have some things to discuss which aren’t the most pleasant at a time like this, however, they must be done. I can come back in a few more minutes if you’d like?”

 

“Now’s as good a time as any,” she said, feeling George’s hand around her waist, holding her up.

 

“Alright then,” he continued, “arrangements need to be made concerning your late husband’s remains. We have a couple options for you to consider. Traditionally, the bereaved will arrange