The Old Saying
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The old saying “a picture is worth a thousand words” can mean many things. It’s a statement about the meaning behind what’s depicted. Whether an image is of a person, a landscape, an action, or any other scene wroth capturing, the photographer is trying to capture and share a message. Natural sights can be used to convey beauty, danger, tranquility, or maybe just the power of time and the constant change that occurs involving everything and everyone in the world. Even if the message is “hey, look at how drunk my friend is,” it can be interpreted differently by different people.
All that aside, there’s no way a baby picture is worth a thousand words. How much life experience can a baby have? NONE, that’s how much. If a normal picture is worth a thousand words, then the most informative, important, entertaining, educational baby picture of all time would be worth like 800 words, tops (and that’s rounding up). Every human being was a baby at some point, by the time you’re an adult, the idea of childhood is like a bad opening band that refuses to leave so the good part of the show can begin. “My baby took its first step!” How incredibly mundane. People don’t care about the processes used on the way to progress. Focusing on baby pictures is like a constant repetition of things that should be commonplace by this point. It’s a hindrance of evolution.
Pictures of inactive children are the WORST of the bunch. What does anyone stand to gain from seeing a still image of a baby? Next time you’re thinking about snapping that “oh-so-cute” shot of your child, just be warned that you are contributing to the downfall of human society. Enjoy being a rebel, because you won’t be remembered for long, because those foolish enough to look up to you will plunge the human race into entropy and mass extinction. If you think “my picture is different,” let me save you the trouble, it’s not. 800 words, and that’s if your baby is one of the leading children of the world. It isn’t, trust me. Want to know how many words the standard baby picture is worth? Three. “Same old shit.”
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'Enjoy being a rebel, because you won’t be remembered for long, because those foolish enough to look up to you will plunge the human race into entropy and mass extinction."' Use a different word then rebel. Rebel implies you're doing something contrary to the norm, but taking baby pictures is very average.
Good point. I also think that the double use of "because" may be a little confusing. Is it: We won't be remembered for long because blah blah, or Enjoy being a rebel because, and also because blah blah. Maybe structure the sentence differently?
Good stuff otherwise though, I laughed 
For arguments sake I would like to say your arguement is flawed: I could go on about a baby picture for a hundred pages. But then again I am an English major conditioned to long winded essays.
I enjoyed your humorous perspective, however, and I found it refreshingly humorous. I don't know if mother's would agree, but then again, its what makes this piece so humorous: You take your rant to almost exaggerated heights. And there's nothing wrong with a little hyperbole now and then.
I enjoyed it! Glad to see people having fun and experimenting!
A well written and interesting take but I read this and think - this guy never had children.
wroth=worth mispelled son!
De-evolution or some portmanteu of bad and evolution would be funnier here. Malvolution. You get the idea.
Use a different word then rebel. Rebel implies you're doing something contrary to the norm, but taking baby pictures is very average.