his garlic breath was inching down her neck.

I'm not sure if breath inching down her neck is an image that works for me.  Breath doesn't really inch.

While the girlfriend verbally assaulted Grant with hysterical scripture,

I think you should expand on this scene to really take us there.  Use some of the sense.  Let us hear some of the girlfriends words.  Bring us into the scene rather than telling us about it.

tell her that by allowing boys into their room and dressing the way she did

Same here.  Introduce us to her roomate and let us hear the lecture.

In fact, I think that's the only problem I have with the story.  You certainly know what the story is about, and have given us plenty of information.  But you didn't draw us into the story, or invite us inside to show us the world. 

That said, the description when she woke up had some incredible lines of description, images that you certainly have a way with.  Kudos on that. 

Thanks for the read.

      An interesting beginning to a story...I really like the lead in to the protagonist's interest in fairies by way of her ambivalance about organized religion. I think that tie-in is very unique and appropriate--I can see a young woman's mind working in that manner.

     I am not against the use of coarse language if it adds to the story, but I suggest it is something you consider closely. The use of curse words will definitely affect what would be the appropriate audience for your story.

     You're going to need to go back to proofread for grammar, spelling, and punctuation.

    

Grant looked the way other MTV age frat boy in Montana looked like.

This sentence needs some attention. I think you meant to say,"Grant looked the way every other MTV-age frat boy in Montana looked."

    

The studying lasted about twenty minutes and his garlic breath was inching down her neck.

  Change "and" between "minutes" and "his" to "before."  Breath inching is probably not the best description; might want to change it to something like "before she felt his garlic breath hot on her neck and shoulders."

    

“You look so hot tonight” he said rubbing her thigh.

“Thanks” Jade said scooting his hand off her lap.

“Kiss me” Grant moaned into her ear.

  Each of these statements needs a punctuation mark inside the second quote marks.

    

While the girlfriend verbally assaulted Grant with hysterical scripture, Jade grabbed her leather jacket and ran down the stairs and out of the thunderous frat house into the dank ally that was her sanctuary.

Jade was already in the basement; wouldn't she have needed to run up the stairs?

     Thanks for allowing this to be read.

When I was about halfway through this piece, I thought I knew what my main critique was going to be. Now that I'm done, I'm not so sure. Initially I was just going to say I felt the story could use more organization. It was well written, but it felt meandering. It seemed Jade's story was being "told," and told well, but as a reader I wasn't experiencing anything. The incident in the frat house is a fine, but conventional. The internal struggle between mom/dad's religion and one's own is also a regular sentiment in stories about characters of this age. The explanation of how Jade became fascinated in European folklore was a little different, though. I'm not the fantasy type, but I found it interesting... more interesting than the scene in the frat house or the antagonism against religious zealots like her roommate, the guy's girlfriend, and Jade's mom.

But when we got to the ending vision sequence at Cannon Ferry Lake, I totally got thrown a curve ball. And here's why I hesitate to "critique" and wanted to explain what I extracted from it... which can be totally not what you intended.

The first 3/4 of the story seemed to be introducing us to a regular girl with none-too-foreign everyday problems. She disagrees with her folks, but who doesn't. She has relationship problems, but who doesn't. But she also has developed a dream, an obsession with this fantasy of old-world mythology and legend. She wants to devote her life to it (hence the aspiration to study European folklore). She's gotten off-track into those everyday problems (haven't we all), but takes a moment to get out of dodge and place herself in solitude so she can recall what's important to her.

But then she has this vision. She's inside the fantasy world, led by the beckoning of the purple faerie on her lighter (which is the embodiment of her obsession). A bridge appears, and after some hesitation she walks onto it, following the faerie toward... well, I don't know. The story doesn't really say. Suddenly, the bridge cracks. Jade falls and begins to drown. And the faerie cackles wickedly at her sodden fate.

Then she wakes up abruptly in a state of fear.

Now, in most stories that end with the plot being all dream, I'm quick to call it a cop out. But not in this one, because it fits perfectly into what I extracted from the plot.

I think Jade's dream symbolizes how she may subconsciously be feeling about her obsessions with the fantasy world and her aspirations to study European folklore. While I don't want to say she finds it "crashing down" as the dream sequence suggests, I think she feels "danger" from it. And that may be a murmur from the danger she's felt from other real-world things in her life-- the boy, her mom, religion, etc.-- but the switch from the purple faerie being her ally and guide to being a foe in disguise seemed undeniable to me. Maybe that means she reevaluates her priorities in life. Maybe she's reexamining her faith. Maybe she's just rejecting the fantasy and is considering seeking out a career path and better guys to date than alcoholic frat guys. But the abrupt conclusion of the fantasy world turning into a nightmare echoed, for me, the ending of the movie "No Country for Old Men," where Tommy Lee Jones recants a dream about the world in which he grew up, an America of values and goodness... after which he says, "...and then I woke up" suggesting that he acknowledges that world does not exist and he must come to terms as an old man in a country that no longer makes sense to him.

Maybe I read into this too much. But I thought it was worth tossing out there. Take it for what it's worth, and if I'm anywhere on the right path then I hope you can extract some ideas to make that conclusion more impacting. If I'm nowhere near right, then I guess you can just totally disregard this comment!