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All Critiques and Comments
Showing 44 of 57 critiques and comments.
On BLINDSIDED, by Kirsten Ashenbrenner: Thank you Nath & Mr Baker for your reviews. I will
consider all your suggestions and revise this story. I do
apprec... » Read more...
On Unearthed, by Laurie Paulsen: Laurie, what can I say? The POV you have chosen is
delightful. I disagree with Stewart's concept about not smelling... » Read more...
On Waking Up Dead, by Phedre: First of all I want to thank you, Phedre, for reviewing my
story. It is a very good critique and quite interesting. I c... » Read more...
On Each Morning I Turn on the War, by Kirsten Ashenbrenner: Hello Michelle Erin
You seriously do get it! Thank you for letting those views echo
back.
Although the poem is sho... » Read more...
On After Reading Camus, by Michael Bourgoise: Hi Michael,
A critique for 'After Reading Camus:
I like the stream of consciousness reporting done in a poetic
style. But... » Read more...
On Unicorn Queen (fragment), by Stewart Flintonlaubakersmith: Sorry, no flash to report on this end. . ."I shouted out an
order to the thief to stop wasting her time."
Yes, indeed!
... » Read more...
On Sublime, by Allie Hueperts: The title of the poem is 'sublime', but I fear you have lost me,
as to the meaning of sublime and any reference to it... » Read more...
On Ode to a Poet, by Stewart Flintonlaubakersmith: Stewart,
Overall, I do like this poem; it has prose which kept me reading
on.
Throughout the poetry I felt a great harr... » Read more...
On Return, by Laurie Paulsen:
Laurie,
Right out of the gate I liked this story. First of all, your
command of language and descriptors in particular, is ... » Read more...
On memory of salt, by Vincent Fanger: The beginning is fantastic!
"I wonder if our cave still lies undiscovered
a wound made deep into the cliff side
an... » Read more...
On A Question of Form, by Stewart Flintonlaubakersmith: You're about to write a critique for A
Question of Form, by Stewart
Flintonlaubakersmith.
Oh, good, Thanks, I f... » Read more...
On The Evertree Tales, Chapter 3: An Unexpected Party Guest, by Strider212: It comes in just < 6000 words: "The Evertree Tales,
Chapter 3: An Unexpected Party Guest.
You have to be kidding!
If Chapt... » Read more...
On Resilience, by Vincent Slade: Hi,
So, you want a Revolution?
Well, you can count me out (in)
Don't you know, it's gonna be all right?
You made me w... » Read more...
On The House that Life Built, by Tamara Bowman: I had trouble right out of the gate, with:
"Brick by brick built this house
loneliness and silence tore it down.
Mortar and b... » Read more...
On Early Morning Muse, by Michael Bourgoise: Greetings,
I found some of your descriptions to be unusually cryptic,
fantastic and thoughtful, which is
always a plus... » Read more...
On Grandad's Toolbox, by Joshua Burgess: Well, it seems as though everyone has bruised hands from
applauding this lovely little story!
And I can see why.
You have man... » Read more...
On Jenna's Mother, by c.a. Marks:
Hi CAM,
I would rework this story from beginning to end. I would massage
the beginning couple paragraphs something like t... » Read more...
On Nova, by Kate Stowman: I believe your story would greatly improve if you added the
following few lines in between
"Get away from me, you pervert!”... » Read more...
On Dreaming of a Dually Reality, by Su Dru Nyhm: Wow!
I was mummyistified, putripetrified,. . .!
and brought to hospital for treatment for gastroxynsis,
and r... » Read more...
On Intangible Concrete, by Vincent Slade: There is a lot of emotion projected, however
It sounds like a love lost
And you're saddened, ruined.
You can't... » Read more...
On Questions, by Natalie Addison: Hello Natalie,
Your rhyming and diction is good, except the tenses get mixed:
"As I wander", "why I wandered", and "Could lif... » Read more...
On The Late Night Movie Show, by Louisa Gholson: L~
that sounds like a fun time; sure. . .
~K
... » Read more...
On The Late Night Movie Show, by Louisa Gholson:
Louisa, I will give it my best shot.
First, I would take the beginning and edit it a little, like
this:
... » Read more...
On Janet Starts a Fire, by Laurie Paulsen:
Critique of “Janet
Starts a Fire”
by Laurie Paulsen
Laurier has written a good story and the plot
is easy to follow. She... » Read more...
On What I Know, Chapter 1: What I Know, by Louisa Gholson:
First of all, Congratulations, Louisa!
Louisa has brought to light many beginning authors' plight: ‘The
Fe... » Read more...
On I am, by RLyn: Critique: “I Am”
by RLyn
“I Am”
by RLyn is a wonderful poem expressing her deep diversity of
feelings for fami... » Read more...
On Four Color Noir, by P.F. White:
Four Color Noir
by
P.F.
White
is pure Pulp;
a fun romp through a video game noir animal si-fi adventure.
Phew!
&... » Read more...
On I Am, by Diabetic.Coma: A critique for 'I Am, by Diabetic Coma
Overall I like your unique style and story. And I believe you
have great po... » Read more...
On Dream within a dream, by J. L. Nav: Opening Comments
Please, please, please, do not lock your caps button when
you are writing your stories to be posted a... » Read more...
On Guilt, by Renea Kelty: Opening Comments
Although you as the author gave an explanation, a prologue
to the poem, if you were to publish the po... » Read more...
On The Keep, by Natalie Addison: Opening Comments
As a pure dialogue and writing a flash story about two
little girls pretending in a fantasy works oka... » Read more...
On Mineral, by Laos D Feng: Opening Comments
Since this is a FLASH story, I will try to make my
critique flashy.
Overall? I liked it. Refreshingly... » Read more...
On Death circle, by J. L. Nav: Opening Comments
DEATH CIRCLE by J. L. NAV was a very
difficult read for me, particularly because i... » Read more...
On June Challenge, Chapter 3: June 8-10, by dnmtwthlsrbm:
A pretty little thing with short blond hair and a
shorter skirt showed me to my table. I watched her carefully as she
... » Read more...
On The Jeremy Files, Chapter 1: Sunlit Memories, by pikachufannumber1: Wow! What can I say?
I like it as is.
just clean up with a few
punctuations here and there
And you're all set.
I li... » Read more...
On Forgotten (Lest We), by Joshua Allen Tompkins:
—‘Forgotten
(Lest We):’--
Okay. At first,
I thought: Oh, just another Nine-Eleven thing. But after reading... » Read more...
On The Seasons, by Natalie Addison: Overall, I liked your poem, but a few things disturbed me while
reading this poem and they chopped up the flow for me, so tha... » Read more...
On Doris Lessing and Her Stories, by Mauve:
'The Egnigma of Doris
Lessing'
I found 'The Egnigma of Doris
Lessing' to to... » Read more...
On The Lost Soul's Dance, by Caroline Lowe: I enjoyed reading this piece of poetry. I esp. like certain
lines, like for instance:
castle of scoundrels,
the palace of
... » Read more...
On Dancing With Mrs. Brown, by Laurie Paulsen: Opening Comments
I like your flash story very much. And I like esp. some lines in
particular, such as:
the clouds moving acr... » Read more...
On Immortal Child, Chapter 2: The Playground, by Phedre: Opening Comments
My first thought is that this is a good start to what
appears to be a story about a horrible sadi... » Read more...