Luray Cooper
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Hello! Not sure if you receive notifications for this stuff, but I replied to you in GEIST. ^_^
Thank you for the critique. I understand what you mean by passive voice. It's just hard to write in the first person without starting every sentence with 'I'.
You're not the only one who can't write what's in your head. That's why we're all here! 
Welcome to scribophile!
Welcome to the site, Luray.
Welcome 
| Name: | Luray Cooper |
| Sex: | Female |
| Words Written: | 3256 |
About Me
| Occupation: | I'm a student. During the summer, I'm also a docent at my local historic plantation, which means I lead people around and spout hastily memorized facts. =P |
| Interests: | Music in general, cello, tennis (playing and watching--yeah Rafa!), books, butterflies, history, other people. |
| Publications: | Not quite. =D |
| Favorite Books: | The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, Lord of the Flies by William Golding, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman |
| Favorite Movies: | Little Miss Sunshine, The Sixth Sense, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, School of Rock...uh......I forget. Generally, I prefer funny movies. |
| Favorite TV Shows: | Chuck, Firefly (<3), The Mole, Unbeatable Banzuke, MXC, Jeopardy! |
| Favorite Quotes: | "Love can change a person the way a parent changes a baby; awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess." ~Lemony Snicket |
| Loves: | Food, the beach, funny things (especially commercials), lolcats (a weird obsession of mine), GraphJam (in the same vein as lolcats), coffee, popcorn, going places with my friends, hunting down butterflies (but I don't kill or capture them! D=) |
| Hates: | Annoying people. =) |
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Events
Showing 20 events.
July 22
Luray Cooper voted.
July 20
Luray Cooper voted.
July 19
Luray Cooper replied to the thread Pendragon Series by D.J MacHale.
Luray Cooper wrote on Kajikawa Niigata's scratchpad.
Luray Cooper voted.
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July 12
Luray Cooper wrote on Caleb S. Dunham's scratchpad.
July 11
Luray Cooper voted.
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Luray Cooper published The Earthlings, Chapter 3.
July 10
Luray Cooper added GEIST, Chapter 1: Fireworks to her reading list.
Latest Works
Showing 3 of 3 works.
So maybe the hijacking isn't what it seems...but it's still just that; a hijacking. What to do, what to do...?
The critiques I've received have helped immensely. Nonetheless, I'm still very much working out the kinks in th... » Read...
The critiques I've received have helped immensely. Nonetheless, I'm still very much working out the kinks in th... » Read...
1444 words - 3 critiques
Maya wakes up in an unfamiliar place, and it doesn't get any better from there. » Read...
768 words - 0 critiquesThe rough draft of this was my 2007 NaNoWriMo project. This is the first rewrite. The beginning definitely needs the most work, but it is supposed to be kind of stupid. Not intended for people under 15. » Read...
1044 words - 4 critiquesLatest Critiques and Comments
Showing 4 of 5 critique and comments.
On GEIST, Chapter 1: Fireworks, by Inno Tenshi:
Hi Inno,
This promises to be very interesting! The
characters are distinct and vivid. You are really good at dialogue... » Read more...
On Vigilante (for lack of a more creative title), Chapter 2, by Caleb S. Dunham:
This is really interesting and well-written. I
have a vivid picture of the main character, and the dialogue is
very strong. ... » Read more...
On The Somnambulist Code, Chapter 1: I: The First Trance, by Erick C.:
I liked the way you jumped straight into the
action, and I liked the ending too. It makes me want to read on.
=)
I ag... » Read more...
On Elemental Freedom, Chapter 0: Forgotten Debts, by Matthew CC:
I agree with Natalie; you did a good job of
drawing the reader in out of pure curiosity. This scene is
exciting, even if we ... » Read more...