Hello, Meris Yates! I just stopped by to say that this was indeed a very good poem that you have done. I have been wanting to get to read your poems ever since you had critiqued my work Moon Light: The What If Scenario of Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer, Heart of Ice Part 2, and Tragic Hearts Chapter 1; The Black Heart of Deceit and Temptation (I thank you for commenting on how good these works were. I really appreciate this action of what you did) All in all this was actually pretty good first poem that you did. Usually you would need a lot of work doing it! Anyway, I look forward to seeing more of your works! Take care now!

 Wow, I like this one. With a little bit of work, this could really shine. The part I liked the most was the end. I really liked how you wrapped it up. Got me thinking, you know.

 So this is your first, dang. I think you have skill, so keep going.

When you do more with it, I will be back to read it again. I'm looking forward to it.

There was one thing, though. I notice it is writen as a sorta short story, kinda. So when ever you write like this, I think it is important to make the transitions from one thing or place to another thing or place as smooth as you can.

I like this.  I think you could make it into a really nice prose poem.  It already has a lot going for it.  I would suggest adding more imagery to it.  Let us really see this old man in a really unique perspective.  Describe features of him that aren't "stereotypical old man". (Though I do like "hard and wizened face"!)  I would also so suggest, if you want to make it into a prose poem, play with the structure a little bit.  For example,

Next to the gray waters, sky silhouetted the same, on the break away edge of the cliffs,

lived an old man of bottles and barnacles in a sea spitted, bird spotted,

weather-worn house.

This is purely for example.  I've never really attempted a prose poem myself.  If you are interested in writing one, I would do some research on Robert Bly.  He writes prose very well.

If you would rather not write prose, my other suggested would be to tighten your lines a little bit.  Use more imagery and less words.  The better the picture you "paint" the less words you need to describe what you want your readers to see.

Don't get me wrong, I really liked this poem!  Keep up the great work!!

 This was very good.  I wish I was better at writing critiques, but I did not find a thing wrong with this.  Usually I can not stand non rhyming poems, because it usually does not keep me interested.  You definately kept me interested in this, from start to finish.  Good job.

 I really enjoyed reading this poem and felt that the imagery was nice…”weather worn house,” “rock forward, backward, forward,” ” traveled up the dirt road to the cliffs,” “hard and wizened face.”

What I really wanted to get from it is why it was so important for her to talk to him “next time” and why she was hesitant in the first place.  In general I think I think that the protagonist wants to get information about life and living from this man, who has obviously been out into the world.  But what was the impetus for her choosing this particular man?  I thought a bit about specific suggestions for incorporating this into your poem and came up with something (simple and certainly not that “poetic”, but hopefully useful as an example--my text would be inserted after the following):

Next to the sea, on the edge of the cliffs,

lived an old man in a weatherworn house

With only a worn dirt road as his lifeline.

I passed by this house daily for most of my life, and wondered why I had never seen the old man out in the world.  I realized that he must have been hiding from the world that treated him so hard.  I imagined that his life may give me answers for which I search.

I thought you did a nice job with the prose form and I found it engaging.  Thanks for sharing.