hey -- you're welcome.. just trying to help.

I wouldn't worry about it -- it's the idea that counts. Putting the words in is a bear, sometimes. I'm an old proofreader, so what I do is second nature.

Hello Michelle,

Thanks for the critique. You hit just the stuff I'm trying to work on: untangling awkward sentences. Also, your welcome for the welcome. I hope you stick around.
-Ben

Hello Michelle,

I just wanted to welcome you to Scrib. Looks like you've dived right in. Excellent.

-Ben

Thank you! My first critique -- I will probably expand that part later when I get a minute or so, and add a few more museum characters.

Thanks for your comment! "the idiot" did seem a bit confusing, so I deleted it. I got rid of the sentence fragmenty bit in the last sentence, too.

I may not answer these in the order in which you asked them, so apologies Alice is a Republican, because she and her companions wear Red, the designated color for the Republican Party. The entire story is told from the point of two Republicans, a low-level political operative (and in this case that's a new definition) and the president.
I had no specific motive in mind when I wrote the characters to be women or men. I tend to write women better, not sure exactly why.

Glad I could help!

Hi there. This is Chap in case this thing doen't tell you! I wanted to thank you for the critique. My plan Is actually to write a confusing first chapter that explains out as further chapters come along. So you caught me, <g> I think my biggest problem is going to be that I write like I talk. I use all those terms like "balk"! LOL! Thanks again