This is a very emotionally charged poem! I think you've done a great job expressing one aspect of heartbreak. My only grief is with the ending. It is a very hopeful almost happy ending which is nice, but I feel it's contradictory to the rest of the poem. I think it would be much more powerful to end the poem with stanza six:

I cry until there are no tears
left.

Or even stanza 5:

I feel the tears slowly fall,I
can't fight them any longer.

Or perhaps a new closing stanza all together. 

All in all, it's a great piece.

 This is good but in my opinion it needs some work. something about it doesnt flow right. I think it is a great start though.

 Honestly, I really don't care for it and it is too choppy. The whole poem puts me into a really bad mood and it is just not quite good enough to call a poem. If you change the choppiness it ight be saved but this might be a little too broken to fix. I cannot say too much else because the content is obviously too strong for me to judge this is a very deep poem that needs some work to become a poem. I have done this before too. I write when i am expirencing emotions and it turns out to be a horrid poem (not saying yours is horrid because it can change). try again though

 This is a little chopie, but not bad. Its all about the rhyem and rthem. Try this on for size

"as I feel my heart breaking/I try to fight the pain."



"I look at him and he turns away,
I touch him then he pulls away."   

adding an and in there every once and a wile will make choppy not so choppy

don"t =don't

I feel the tears slowly fall,I
can't fight them any longer.
 

Try spelling out can't makeing it can not. And changeing "any longer" to any more.

I see what you are saying in the last line, you have come to know that it is now over, no matter how hard it seams, and your "life will go on."  I am not so shure how to reword this and still keep the meaning.

I look at my self and know, my life will go on

the mirror has shatered and my life will go on

I cant rhyem one bit but I hope this will get you started on the right road.

I'm sure this poem means a lot to you, but I'm afraid I can't connect to it. It feels very personal, like a friendly conversation, but it's not really a poem. There's nothing very original in it.

I recommend you really crank your brain to produce some great figures of speech when you revise this poem. Make it feel like we're really there. Make us feel what your narrator is feeling. Include the little details, and play with our senses a bit.

 OK good job. Of course people go through rough times when it has to do with love. I always say there are more fish in the sea. Truth is you'll never find one like the one you've got. You told this story nice and clear it was almost like I was inside of it reminding myself of past situations I have had. You did a very good job with expressing yourself something I find lacking in alot of others writing. I really did love this work and I want to ask  you to write more like this and I look forward to reading more of your work thank you

 normally im not really a fan of peotry, this poem caught my eye and despite its lack of length, it makes up for with raw and bitter emotion. i am working on writing a love story and i wanted a happy ending, but after reading your awe-inspireing poem, i now have visions of a sad and dark ending. im not gong to suggest better endings, or how to make the poem seem to be better than it was, because that cannot be done. a poem is invisioned by the author and the original is the best that the poem can ever be, if one were to change it it would be an extension of the original, which in itself, is hardly able to be called a poem. this of coarse does not apply if u have a mispelled letter, if it does, then the original poem has a gramatical error, and it is fixable, but other than that there is no other excuse to changeing the originallity of a poem...

 It seems a bit jumpy, like you were crying when you wrote it, (if this happoned to you personally) and where writting very fast to try and get your emotions on paper or typed up before they fadded away or were forgotten.

Very nice though.

First of all I want to say I hear you loud and clear and know the feeling...  I mean I'm not into guys but to each their own right? 

Anyways, I like this poem a lot, but I have some suggestions...

I think this poem could use more punctuation.  It adds to the emotion to have punctuated dramatic pauses and things of that nature.  For example...

"He does not love me like before,
it's only been two years,
I look at him he turns away,
I touch him he pulls away."

This stanza could look like this:

He does not love... not like before,
It's only been two years,
I look at him- he turns away,
I touch him and he pulls away

I'm not saying that is exactly how it should be but I think that the punctuation adds to the mood and tone in a way that could totally benefit your point.  Sometimes not using punctuation inhibits the message you are trying to get across.  If it's not there, I tend to read it straight across- even though I know what you are trying to convey it makes me have to read it a couple times.

Also...

"I don"t understand how his
love could just die."

I think if you put the word "His" on the second line of this stanza it has more effect and flows more nicely.  Maybe use the dot, dot, dot after "how."   It makes everything more balanced.

Punctuation again and also some structure.

"once he said "I will love you forever
and a day" Is this that time?"

"Once he said, "I will love you forever..."

Is that this time?"

I think if you want to keep the "and a day" part you need to keep it on the same line as "I will love you forever" otherwise it just ends up sounding fragmented.

Lastly, I don't think  you need the ending two lines.  Although they are empowering, and I like that, I end up feeling like it takes away from what your poem is giving its reader.  Everything in the poem is centered around the feelings of heart break and destruction and then right at the end it's like saying "but none of that matters" or "that doesn't bother me."  Which makes me want to know why it was written to begin with if "you know life will go on."  If life is going to go on then it negates the pain  and hardship before it.

Overall I like the poem, I don't want you to get the wrong idea, I just see that there are ways for you to make this stronger.  Good luck.