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You Never See It Coming, Chapter 3: Fragile

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elijah, spencer, flashback, carnival
1st
Draft

Published on:

July 5, 10:29pm

Word Count:

893

Work Description

When Elijah is going through a tough time dealing with a breakup and a struggle with his band, he never expects anyone to show up to help him through it. But, sometimes, you never see it coming.

Chapter Description

Memories of green pick-up trucks and the girls who drive them can destroy a person.

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The band manager helped Darkened Dreams figure out the money it would take to put on a carnival. It was expensive, but the debts would be paid off in carnival tickets and stands. The band was ecstatic, talking non-stop about their plans for the weeks leading up to the big event. What made the whole thing real was designing it. They had maps of where stands would go, diagrams of what they would look like, and lists of who was running them. Most things were either black and white or rainbow, making the scenery simple but still fun. They didn’t need a professional to help them design it; it was almost as if they had been waiting to plan an event like this their whole lives. It was that easy.

            Ben, Zach, Blake, Elijah, and Spencer sat around their mahogany double pedestal dining room table, discussing further plans for the carnival. Elijah thought about that table and about how it came to be. It was an interesting story in his opinion, and he thought about it often. As he thought, he stroked the arms of the smooth, carved wood and the cream-colored upholstery that made the matching chairs. He zoned out almost immediately.

            They were skipping school, he recalled. It was pretty rare that Elijah ever missed a day of school, but his older brother’s special skill was convincing people into doing things they didn’t particularly want to do. Spencer had promised Elijah a movie and a brand new book. Elijah was a sucker for books. Especially new ones, specifically hardcover, the way the spine cracked the first few times he opened them. He even loved the smell of the pages, and the way the ink looked like it was handwritten, word for word. He was definitely a sucker for books. Spence bought him an Augusten Burroughs book, his newest, and then brought him to see some action film. He called it a “Brothers’ Day Off,” as if they didn’t get enough of each other at home. After the movie, they walked home, going through town. Their town had what seemed like millions of convenient shops, winding down the streets like Fall Avenue and Breeze Street. As it is in movies, a small, fragile old woman was stepping out of Gregg’s Market holding square paper bags filled with her necessities. Laughing and joking around as they were, Elijah and Spencer didn’t notice the woman was there until they had already knocked her and her groceries down. Feeling awful, they bent down and helped her to her old and fragile knees. They picked up her bags. Her shaky hands reached out, insisting she have the bags back right that instant. Elijah and Spencer, to make it up to her, offered to carry the bags to her vehicle, or even her house, if she had walked. It turned out to be the latter, and so they walked about three blocks back to her single-story townhouse. While they walked, they talked to her. They slowly realized what sort of situation they were in. This lady, Miss Acton, was certified insane. Her ideas on life were completely bizarre, and the way she handled things were unbelievable.

            When Spencer and Elijah set her bags down and were about to leave, she offered them sandwiches. They declined, but she insisted. So, they sat down on her ratty maroon couch, (located in her spacious living room / bathroom), and waited for their sandwiches. When they were delivered to them, the whole thing was moldy. Staring disgustedly at the sandwich, Elijah said, “Actually, Miss Acton, I think we’ll take our sandwiches to go. We have to be home before our mom.”

            “Don’t be silly,” she laughed. “Your mom doesn’t care.”

            Elijah and Spencer gave each other a confused look. How did she know their mom?

            Spencer cleared his throat, asking, “Miss Acton, how do you know our mother?”

            She gave them a condescending look. “I don’t.”

            This discussion went on for quite some time, the two brothers asking her questions, and she answering them with outrageous answers that she, most likely, thought were obvious. Finally, as they were about to leave, she offered them the table.

           

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Discussion

  This short story deals mostly with a memory brought about by a material object.  And that's something every reader has experienced many times in his life.

  Herein, the author has an easy style of writing.  Her exposition is fluid and pleasant.

  The main character, Elijah, is quite busy  at the time with his friends in a particular enterprise. However, the table, where they are discussing plans for the near future, takes him back to a past memory. A bittersweet snippet of his personal history.  A preamble of how he met his ex-girlfriend.

  The story is a fast read.  The memory is stopped abruptly by the lead character when it gets to the point of  meeting his girl.  To continue the reminiscence is too painful for him, so it's cancelled.

   Once it's finished, the reader comes out of it with a good feeling about the characters that populate this tale.  I, personally, would like to know more about them.  Future developments will come their way and make them more well-rounded, and that's a hope.  It seems the author is intent on adding more chapters  telling us about their adventures.  Which is a good thing.

   On the whole, the enterprise is worthy.  From small beginnings a great work can be built.  Just go on.

  

 

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