I'm way out of my league here, having never written a screenplay. So the only thing I can say about the technical aspect of it is:  it seems to follow the advice in the five pages I read of How Not To Write a Screenplay pretty well. That is a compliment, even though I'm not sure it reads like one.

It feels a little clunky at the beginning, and it's tough to tell how much of this is because it would require a certain amount of setting to really feel comfortable. Anyway, I think maybe you break into the hilariously bad Christmas puns a little to early--while I love them now, at first they seem unintentionally corny. Again, I think it would be easier to get a good feel for this if I were watching it.

I love the montage joke. I think maybe the punchline would work a bit better if you had Charles maybe describe a scene from Rocky and refer to it as Miracle on 34th Street. Something to the extent of (but, obviously, better than) "It worked in that one movie...where the guy punches a bunch of meat to train. You know, Miracle on 34th Street." with the rest following as-is. This depends on how much you're willing to dumb down your characters, obviously. I'd also like to note that I particularly like that they use Rocky (albeit accidentally) as inspiration to help them beat Dick because, as I'm sure you know, Rocky technically loses.

I take issue with the cat-kicking being their reason for enacting their final revenge on Dick. It seems to convenient and altogether too justified. I would almost like it better if they all just sort of went insane with jealousy after seeing Dick practicing his carols or something (again, something better and funnier, obviously). And again, that calls into question how vaguely unlikable you're willing to make them.

ENZO

I’ll make that schmuck pay!

I love the Yiddish in a Christmas story. Nice.

All in all I think it's a pretty strong start. I'd love to see it filmed!

I don't really know how to critique a screen play, much less one that has already been made into a movie, but I feel like watching it would help bring a lot of it together.

I just want to say I love that his name is dick and they call him a cunt

Hey Nick,

I liked this. I agree with Carrie that the beginning's a little rough. The puns do seem to come too soon, like a stranger that starts cracking jokes about your wife and mother and slapping you on the back before you've even been introduced. As the script goes on, I got used to the tone and did laugh more than a few times. Overall though, the puns could be more smoothly incorporated into the ideas the characters are trying to express. This line, for example, felt really thrown in there :

This is Dick’s winter wonderland now, and we’re all just away in a manger.

I like the moments when the carols were plotting against Dick and watching him more so than their moments of open confrontation. Dick's dialogue didn't feel too real to me, but the more I think about it, I'm convinced that it just needs to some to read out loud and assign it a style.

While it is more important that we see the carolers as a cohesive group, I really can't distinguish between Ben and Enzo and Marion, except for the fact that Marion wears effeminate clothes. Charles stands out as the leader, but the others blur together.

This line was cool and pretty original:

I know you’re confused, maybe even scared! But when you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do!

The kitten-punting was funny. But if this guy is such a jackass, how is moving in on their holiday cheer? Maybe we're shown instances where he's being two-faced, and I didn't see it. He just doesn't seem like he could be a threat to these carolers who are so darn gung-ho about Christmas.

Also, I would've liked for them to confront Dick head-on instead of poisoning him. That twist kind of stole the climactic punch I was looking forward to.

Good work, though. There's definitely good material here. I would watch this movie!

 Soooo..... I am not really sure what to say here.  Anyhoo, I mostly like it so far, even if some of the puns are corny.  I think that just makes them even more funny, mostly because I have never heard Christmas carols used to insult people in such a fashion.  Although it wasn't the first, I did enjoy

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Do you hear what I hear?

As for the montage scene towards the end, I just recently saw someone do that on TV, the whole working out to get back in shape for a competition that has nothing to with working out thing.  So, that is completely my own problem and now I am not sure why I mentioned it.  Maybe you could show them actually trying to use weights or something to "exercise" their vocal muscles, like trying to lift a dumbell with their neck... I don't know. 

It seems like their is still a lot of room to add and/ or develop what you have so far and I feel like if I spend too much time with it I will just be trying to insert my own ideas into your script.  I like it so far, and for some reason, mostly because I could imagine him saying this, the line from Marion

Those popsicles don’t taste sweet at all, Dick!

 seems like something Shane could have said, maybe because it is one of those things that it very obvious and no one really needs to say but when someone points it out it is kinda funny.  Anyways, I was wondering how long this movie would be? 

Cool stuff!  Keep working on it, and I am sure you will jingle all the way to a funny movie! (Sorry).

I have almost nothing to say about screenplays! I enjoyed this though, especially since I am a fool for even the worst of puns.

For that reason, I think that this, their moment of victory,

ENZO

That should keep him out of commission!

 

All four carolers cheer.

CHARLES

The neighborhood is ours! Let’s go!

needs to have at least one horrible pun, if not two. "That should keep him out of commission" definitely ought to be a christmas carol; the other line maybe could be too. I almost want it to not even make sense, especially if this is verging on self-parody--which it sort of maybe is a little? For some reason I am just tickled by the thought of someone saying, "That sure Rudolphed his reindeer!" This is probably a sign that I need sleep.

Also, I really like the above suggestion that the Rocky thing involve an intricate description of a scene from Rocky.

But I enjoyed this a lot! It was a goodly bit of fun, if a little unseasonable. ^_^

Edited because I can't type.

 This screenplay has a very warm feeling to it; this may sound strange as the opening scene is centered around a bitter old man and the semi-crass comments that are exchanged him and the other carolers.  However, somehow you have managed to keep the warm Christmas feeling present while still developing the conflict between the main characters.  I thought that this was very unique and clever.

I did feel as though the interaction between Dick and the other carolers was a bit unnatural.  Without any background on Dick, it seemed really strange that he would act so childish, and I was unable to connect with him.  Also, the insults seemed a little bit staged--no pun intended.  They felt really tightly fit together, like you had picked out the best insults you could think of and placed them back to back.  They didn't seem to really tell me anything about the characters, but rather seemed to stray away from the characters instead.

Overall I like the storyline that you have going on here.  I think that there's a lot of room for development and refinement into a great piece.  I can actually visualize this as a play which is excellent.  I can almost see the set and the characters on stage performing this, and I think that is where the warmth of this piece lies. 

I hope that these suggestions are useful to you, and I look forward to reading more.

I don't know why, but I find Dick more interesting.