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N.B.Yomi

N.B.Yomi
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Michael Frazier

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Honestly, idk if it was me either, but I would say that exposition should ONLY reveal what is necessary and it's better if it's not revealed UNTIL it is necessary. That's not to say that you can't pull a Potter, and give a subplot that reveals something important to the main plot 5 books later, but tie-ins are different from an exposition dump. A good book is as much a strip-tease of your story as anything else. Take it slow.
Thanks for peeking at my work. Asterisks refer to italicized. Sorry for the confusion. Something I can do a quick search on and delete when necessary, but also keep the reader in the loop when I'm stuck with plain text.
Thanks for the great critique. Your comments were really helpful! I totally appreciate you taking the time to read it! Thank you!
-m-
Saw your post on the "words fail me" thread. "Let the Right One In" you can find on DVD almost anywhere (it was a big arthouse hit last year). The book (a very Stephen King-ish read) can be ordered.
Opps. Clicked on the wrong name! Sorry!
Thanks for the critique/comment on "I know you" (originally called "Fiction?"
I made a few changes and hope it reads a little better for you.
NB I'm sorry about all that flack in the forum. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Hi there. Just letting everyone who critiqued my story "Mistakes Bite" know that it was accepted for publication in the Creatures of the Night anthology being published on October 31st from Absolute Xpress publishing. Thanks for the critique.
Whilst the topic of religion is extremely fascinating, it may be wise to keep it off the forums. it has resulted in some nasty arguments before, that became far less than civil. i would be more than happy to talk with you about religion (I believe you and i would share many opinions) But i would prefer to do it off the forums.
Hi. Thanks for the critique of my story "Mistakes Bite". I will definitely take a look at the sentence structure closely before I send it off to the contest. Cheers.
Birthday: Sep 29, 1988
Words Written: 2,449

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Events

February 4
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N.B.Yomi wrote on Mullog Roots's scratchpad.
February 3
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N.B.Yomi wrote on Reena Jacobs's scratchpad.
February 2
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N.B.Yomi wrote a critique for Shadow Cat, Chapter 2, by Reena Jacobs.
January 26
January 22
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N.B.Yomi replied to the thread Well I finally figured it out....
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N.B.Yomi created a thread called Well I finally figured it out....
January 17
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N.B.Yomi wrote on Hans von Lieven's scratchpad.
January 16
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N.B.Yomi replied to the thread My God... This Again....
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N.B.Yomi replied to the thread My God... This Again....
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N.B.Yomi created a thread called My God... This Again....
January 15
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N.B.Yomi wrote a critique for The Machine that Loved too Well., by Michael Frazier.
Dec 30, 2009
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N.B.Yomi wrote on Adam Sifre's scratchpad.
Dec 29, 2009
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N.B.Yomi created a thread called Alright this is not fair....
Dec 20, 2009
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N.B.Yomi created a thread called How do you execute this?.
Dec 19, 2009
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N.B.Yomi replied to the thread It won't stop....
Dec 18, 2009
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N.B.Yomi replied to the thread Words Fail me at the moment....
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N.B.Yomi replied to the thread Words Fail me at the moment....
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N.B.Yomi replied to the thread Losing it..

Latest Works

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Luciami is 15 year old demon girl who is found and a christian family... Unknown to her she's a demon chosen over Mammon to be the Anti-Christ. However after learning that she is indeed a demon after seeing a painting of Lucifer, and being wounded by... Read →

Latest Critiques and Comments

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On Shadow Cat, Chapter 2, by Reena Jacobs: Okay I must apologize for I didn't read the whole thing, because I am feeling a bit impatient. So I will critique what I ... Read →
On I Know You., by Adam Sifre: *Listening To Abel's theme from Street Fighter IV* Sorry listening to music sometimes gives me a better feel for a story ... Read →
On Dust to Dust, Chapter 1: Buzz Kill, by Lothiriel: I don't know if what I'm gonna say will help, but first off I like the concept, because it reminded me of my series [... Read →
On Sorcerer, Chapter 1: Sorcerer, by forcechild: Well your descriptive prowess is similar to my own when I describe the occultists, or priests warriors in my story "Princess ... Read →