WHOA!!! okay dude, quick tip: people are lazy. Its a scientific fact. if you really want people to read this work, then i would highly suggest you break it up into smaller parts and post it slowly. Unless you're story has an outstanding hook at the beginning, most people will not bother to sit and read through the whole thing. Trust me, I've been up this road.

Mine has been a remarkable life, for it stands to reason I am a remarkable man, and mediocrity has never been the fate of any who bear the name: Moon.

He seems kinda boastful so early in the story. When I start reading a new story, I'm usually looking for reasons to like the main character, so this is sort of a turnoff for first impressions.

We did not see the British Man-O-War closing on our position until it was too late.

If he's on the moon, isn't this set in the future? Where does the 18th century ship come from?

Burning casks of rum and clever powder mines (a design of my own, I take no small credit,)

I've noticed a lot of parentheses and I can tell what you're doing in trying to create a narrative voice, but for me it gets in the way of reading the actual story plot.

For hours we toiled attempting to coax every possible jot of speed from the straining hull of my old boat, Still it was no use and sometime after darkness fell we began to prepare ourselves for the sea battle that would inevitably seal our fate. My crew was hearty and strong, we had sailed with one another for many years, but were all prepared to meet the fate that must befall all pirates when time takes its toll.

I think you need to discuss his pirate profession in clearer detail earlier, along with the dimensions of the ship. And maybe describe the ship so we can see what he's standing on, like the wetness on the deck, splinters, or other details like that because unless I'm watching Pirates of the Caribbean I don't intuitively know what a pirate ship looks like when standing on deck.

I remember thinking at the time that the captain of the enemy ship was a demon, but in retrospect I see little to fault him in his actions. We were pirates: we gave no mercy and could ask for none in return.

I sort of feel like the action isn't "active" enough. It's a bit too caught up in the narrator's voice and thoughts instead of making us feel like we're experiencing the battle.

in which we learn of the savage practices of the barbaric land owner

Is this line an error? There's no punctuation and it's off on its own.

"I want four servants slaughtered for the feast. One is to be broiled, one fried, another roasted, and the fourth...the fourth..."

What? Is he a cannibal? Also, did we abandon the 1st person perspective in this section? I'm a little confused as this section continues.

Ned moon makes the best of his situation

That section preceding this was a little weird to me because it switched perspective and scene without really establishing a new setting.

Clouds clinging to the surface of water, an extraordinary phenomena! (While "Salt-Fog" is quite a common occurrence to sailors, it is quite another thing to see Altocumulus, the "High-Heaped" cloud of the sky occupying the same sea as one such as I,)

This explanation was interesting, but stopped the action for me. Maybe you could move it out of the big paragraph?

There was also a length of rope and a chest of valuables or possibly trade-goods lay stowed in the life boats stern. I could have more easily found out what the chest contained but the key was conspicuously missing. I have always been a man of unusual strength for my size and thus reasoned I could attempt and force the lock with my knife when I heard a most peculiar sound.

Hope I'm not being too blunt. You're a good writer, but I think your sentences and paragraphs are dense. I was never a fan of classic literature for this very reason. I always had to read a page twice to pick up on exactly what was happening. Is it necessary to say "valuables and possibly trade-goods"? Or can we just say "A length of rope and a chest were stowed in the stern"? The later sentences were similar for me, especially the last part where I almost didn't see there was "a most peculiar sound."

So I naturally did what any gentleman would do when confronted with the unknown. I dispatched him with my knife.

Whoa. I didn't like this very much. The reason being the moon-man was the most interesting thing that happened in the story so far. Why isn't he curious and objective? He's seen no evidence to assume they're hostile. I want to relate to the protagonist, but this only further lends to my prejudice against him.

Which I must admit added a level of humor to the entire situation and served as fuel for my muscles to swing ever the more vigorously.

Another example of a sentence that stopped the action for me.

And wouldn't he be curious by the fact that they speak English?

I took advantage of my adversary's confusion to leap ten feet upward into the rigging, astonishing myself (not to mention the moon-men,) with my athletic prowess. I swung from the rigging across the deck only to let go at the last moment, hurtling through the air to the commanders position (I could not help noticing that the cordage I had used to my advantage was inexplicably placed, a Bermuda rig set to square sails? madness,).

The parentheses again slowed this down for me.

She was in fact quite beautiful, with a perfectly normal (aside from being quite lovely,) womanly head.

This is weird. The captain isn't a moon person? I guess I'm not really following the logic.

"Now hear this! By order of the captain: this ship now belongs to Mr. Ned Moon...I am officially resigning my commission and all responsibilities therein."

I think I know better what's been bothering me about his violence. It isn't well established early on that his instinct as a pirate is to conquer and plunder and pillage. If that were ingrained in my mind during the early moments of the story, I think I'd assume from the point of him climbing up the hull that he was going to try to commandeer the ship.

"Terribly sorry about the scrap captain Moon." Said the Moon-man apologetically. Others joined in with him. I nodded bewildered at them, "Errr...alright, no problem. No hard feelings I guess..." I thought for a moment then added, "Now get back to work!" The moon-men saluted me then left to go clean up the bodies of the dead and deal with the wounded

Now, this is weird to me, because the captain just killed at least one of their buddies. It's just so soon for them to go, "okay, I guess he's cool..." I'm just remembering all those war movies were guys make such strong bonds with their fellow soldiers that no matter what, they're so caught up in the emotion of it that they'll be irrational when their friends are killed.

"Did you mean what you said...about not knowing where you are, or who we are?" asked the former captain. I nodded. She smiled. "Then perhaps we had better talk about it in my- your quarters...fancy a drink?" She asked. I suddenly knew that whatever else I needed in life, a drink was at that moment the most important.

I'm sort of reminded of the movie "Stardust" when the protagonist unexpectedly boards a vessel and befriends the captain. Since Ned Moon kills people and takes over the ship, I just find it hard to believe that the former captain is so cordial. It instills in me prejudices against her, almost as much as I'm against Ned Moon. I think it would play more believably if it was more like "Stardust" or even the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies where we know Ned is a vicious captain, but he doesn't necessarily KILL when he first gets on board to take over the ship. If he just captured the captain, we'd like him, the way Johnny Depp captured Keira Knightley to get free of the army in the first "Pirates" movie. Hope I'm making sense. It's just a matter of getting the reader to identify with and relate to the protagonist. My professors have always told me that a reader won't continue reading a story that has a main character we don't like. Anyway, regardless I still think you're a good writer and I wish you the best of luck.