The Gift You Gave To Me
poetry
Published on:
April 11, 6:17pmWord Count:
107Work Description
A Thank You to my Muse, Guardian Angel, and overall Inspiration, my Grandmother. I love you, and miss you.
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The gift you gave to me
Was the best I'll ever see.
You gave me hope and praise;
A way out of the darkness of my days.
With the gift you gave to me,
I found a way to finally be free
From all my crazy emotions inside;
You gave me a place where I can hide.
The gift you gave to me,
Creates a way so I can simply
Express my feelings and my pain
Without anyone catching the blame.
The gift you gave to me
Will always in my heart be;
I'll be grateful to you for eternity,
For giving me the gift of poetry.
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Hi, I think it would have been good to let the reader inn on, who gave you the gift?
I liked it
I found it a bit two minded. First You are happy with the gift and the new found freedom. The next there is abit of almost holding back and not quite as free.
"You gave me a place where I can hide."
You have found the freedom of the gift, so, why would you want to hide.
Perhaps: "You gave me a place where I could just be"
Overall. I liked it. keep writing
Thank you
Warmth to you, From Sherry
" GRANDMOTHER'S ARE THE BEST AND I MISS MINE ALOT, BUT THIS POEM HELPS ME IN MY GRIEF AND MY MEOMORIES MAKE ME SMILE."
i agree with sherry.
if you have been given the gift....and the freedom why do you
want to hide?
also, i didn't really like the line
" the gift you gave TO me"
it sort of made me feel uneasy when i read it. but over all...ur poem is pretty and simple.
and i really appreciate it. well done. 
xoxo
<3
\m/,
This is a lovely poem. I like the idea you are trying to get across, the fact that poetry can be a gift.
The last line in the first stanza, "A way out of the darkness of my days", is a little too long, & doesn't flow well. Begin the next stanza with "The gift you gave to me" even if you have to change the next couple lines just so the poem has a pattern.
In the next stanza, use a different word besides simply. It doesn't work well.
I don't like the line "Will always in my heart be", it just doesn't work.
But overall, I think this poem has lots of potential, you just need to work on imagery, throw in a couple metaphors. And I think you'll be good.
-Leech
this is really good!!!
who gave you the gift of poetry? that could be explained in the poem, as it just says "you"
also-
if you do couplets in the whole poem, you should stick to the rhythym and format- the "simply" part sounds a little off-beat and out of place.
a do like the rhyming part of it though-it flows smoothly from stanza to stanza and does not sound forced
i think should be "You gave me hope and gave me praise"
it sounds more natural and "with the beat"
hope this helps! keep working on it and keep up the good work!
~Fainne