hey! i wrote some more critique for 'angel'! hey look, im sorry its so long, but its worthwhile to read. my suggestion for reading it: split it into sections. ( like read one ppart of the critiqued dialogue, then fix that part... dont try to tackle it all at once...) and good idea for that story

Hi, Roxas, thanks for your thoughts on my short story! I really appreciated it. You can become a fan and read all my works if you want. In order to read, just click Ariadne President, scroll down my profile. You will see recently published works, click any one you like! I like your picture by the way, I like Kingdom Hearts also! Well gotta go! I am doing my short story now!