Penmar is by the Sea
non-fiction, non-sequitor, sequence of words
Published on:
September 2, 9:13pmWord Count:
325Last Edited:
September 6, 12:59amWork Description
Rambling thoughts of a tortured golfer and husband
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It was a day. The sun came up. The rain fell. On the second tee
James hit a bonkers driver that bounced on the bench and never
deviated its path to the concrete fountain to face me. Epic.
I called for a 32 and only missed by three. No, two. No, three. Our
partners were civil, adept, and compliant - though Clapton did show
a bit of dodge with that Wadkins line. I even gave him an out. I
said, "Paul! Come on! Be nice! Tell me I swing like somebody
pretty!"
We were old guys on a links track in August. Pluperfect targets for
___(plural noun)___. One guy did honk but he was like 30 so we just
laughed.
In New York I was ready to be scared. Of people. but they were
nice. People in L.A. are mean like me. Today there was a guy
screaming on a bus bench. He came up to me to bum a cigarette and I
said, "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" Well, I was on the
phone. "C'mon, c'mon. Smoke, SMOKE!" "NO YOU CRAZY SCREAMING
FUCK! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" In New York someone would have
had a cigarette.
I've learned to hit the 9.5 low.
I got past the pin on 4 of the first 5 holes, but that was it.
I made a 15 footer, then 3, then 4 on consecutive holes.
This is the same track where I once went 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 on holes 2,
3, 4, 5, & 6. After that I stopped trying. I could have kept
going for a while.
Both fives I made today were from the rough. That goddamned Kukuyu
is tough.
I woke up on the floor today 'cause my wife is looking for
somewhere else to live and I can't sleep in the bed.
The Jacuuzi is nice.
I watered the yard for two hours waking with the day.
A great day, really. But I wish I could show the whole world that
knocker he clicked on two.
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Discussion
I enjoyed this story, too. It has a frantic and lively quality that kept me reading even though the vernacular is nothing I am familiar with. What the hell is a bonker?
But the writing is good.
It feels, however that this is only the seed of a piece. Not Hemingway here. The stream of consciousness thing is enough to get started, but at some point you have to include some structure or nobody will be able to stick with it, including you the author.
Good visuals, though. I did get a feel for the old guys limping along the fairway. I bet they are all wear stretch socks and have to make at least five trips to the bathroom each round.
Thanks for your hard work.



I dig it. It's a little all-over-the-place, but it has some fun sketches and lets the reader enter a world, always a plus.