Hey, I'm waiting for another Chapter in Orphans. I need a good read. It's not nice to be so mean to your fans...

Thanks for your comments Russell. Lots of helpful input. I've actually re-written Winter Hunt in first person from the POV of the vampire. Everyone seems to indicate the story needs a bit more mystery/edge to it and I think the change of voice might do it. Always a pleasure hearing from you!

Your critique definitely helped. It seems you and I come from two different schools of thought on writing, but I think that's absolutely wonderful. I really enjoy and need someone to break down my work for me. It helped a lot. Thanks!

Hey, thanks a bunch for the critique. It was truly the first serious critique my work has gotten. You got to the point and I will soon be working like crazy to try and make this piece better. Thanks.

I did read chapter one, just to make sure I wasn't missing something. It wouldn't be fair to critique your chapter and say something like "where did that come from?" when clearly it was in the preceeding chapter.

Thanks Russell, for taking a look at my little story.

Hey, Russell. It's been a while since I've been on, so I was thrilled to see not one, but two reviews from you. Thank you so much. As usual, you gave excellent advice. I promise, I'll get to Chapter 5 as soon as I get my computers back on track. I'm out of coins until payday when I plan on purchasing my membership, but I have a few questions I'd value your opinion on. Until then, do I understand that you are a candidate for USC. From what I understand, out here, is that it's a pretty big deal. Congratulations!

Hello! When you have time please read, The Boys of Summer -and tell me what you think.

Thanks again for your critique. I always love reading it and I was just about to re-edit chapter 2 when I noticed you left it. I thought I should tell you what the Reject Hotline is. Where I live (which is where Fred lives, too), there's a number -I don't know what it is, but my cousin has it on speed dial- and it's called the Reject Hotline. If you have an insistent girl or guy after you and you're seriously NOT interested, but they seriously DON'T get it, you give them this number and tell them it's yours. The Reject Hotline is a recording that tells the caller different reasons why he/she is a reject and recieved the number. It's actually really funny, my cousin had me listen to it once. I don't know the actual number, but the reason I had Fred recite it was because 1) at the time, it was NaNo and I needed the words XD and 2) If you look at the letter on the phone, it spells 55-LOSER. But, I guess it is a waste of space. Thanks again!

Thanks!

hi, russell--
thank you for your critique of my first chapter!
i agree with most of your advice, but just haven't had the heart to slice into my chapters, yet. *sigh* i know, i know...i gotta be ruthless with myself if i'm going to get anywhere. i appreciate your objective and knowledgeable viewpoint--thank you for such in-depth feedback!

Hi there!
Just wanted to thank you for all the work you put into critiquing "In a Portrait"!! I will confess however, that I really haven't looked at this piece in a long time...nor did I before I published it. Therefore, since it was written, I have since learned (in college creative writing classes) many of the things you critiqued on. However, I do apreciate being critiqued, especially, so throughly! It's nice to know what isn't working, and what can be improved. So, thank you, thank you, again!

Thanks so much for the critique on "Hearts and Minds"! I think the biggest thing I'm having problems with in this novel, as a writer, is to choose a POV and stick with it. Before you mentioned it, I wasn't sure what the problem was at all, and now I know! Thanks so much--I'm really taking this to heart.

I can't thank you enough for your critique of "The Painter"! I am absolutely amazed at the time you took to explain yourself. This critique will be so incredibly helpful - this story is actual a bit of a point of shame for me (so very, very purple!) but I had been meaning to rewrite it and your critique will be a huge help in that area, and all of it is good advice for my other writing. So, thank you, a lot. You made my night.

Hey, thanks for your critique of 2012. I was actually hoping that I'd hear from you before I published chapter 2. I thought I should let you know that the entire story is already written, 20 chapters, actually. It was my NaNoWriMo project last year. Now, I'm just rewriting it and posting it here for feedback like yours so that it's awesome, hahaha. Well, I guess I'm going to edit chapter 1 a bit before going to chapter 2. And then everything else will have to wait until after April. Script Frenzy!!! ^_^

Thank you so much for your critique of Old Fishermen Never Die. You and Amber Lynn both helped a lot.

Just wanted to let you know that I reread Hamelin 2 and like the changes. It's a great story and I look forward to Chapter 3.

Hey Russell. I liked your works! You are free to come to my profile and read my work!

Thank you for such an in-depth critique. I really appreciate it!

Many thanks for the in-depth critique of St. Valentine's Head. You nailed the two tendencies I constantly fight in my writing, passive voice and direct address. Usually I have re-draft completely to remove the passive voice. I teeter back and forth on direct address. I love it but everyone always mentions how it interrupts the narrative. Your other suggestions were equally valuable. Thanks again.
-Ben

Sounds so cool! I would have replied to the message, ubt i have no coins. I spent them on your Teddy Bear, lol, and I have no money to upgrade or buy more =/

Hi Russell! I want to read Well of Life Chapters 2 and 3! So if you please make it a public work, I would feel free to give you a great critique!

Hi Russell,
Thank you so much for the extended and excellent critique, it was just what I needed!
I'd also be interested to read the next Chapter of your Jacob Kinsman but it says I do not have access?

thank you for the comments. they were very much appreciated.
if you wanted to know, i didn't write the story in the first person because it was originally meant to be part of a larger story, but as it stands now, I'll probably rework it.
I also wanted to mention that the reason that you probably weren't sure where the story was going by the end of the second chapter is that I have absolutely no idea myself. I really love writing dialogue and inner monologue, but plot is a major hurdle for me.
I also noticed that you picked up on the fact that my style is very screenplay-esque. I've only been writing that novel as a way to take breaks from my screenplay.
But thanks again for the fantastic comments. You are very perceptive and honest. Someone had rated the story at two stars, and your review and rating made me feel much better about myself, and gave me lots of ideas on how to improve.

Hi! I wanted to say thank you for commenting on my story! A lot of the critique was really helpful and I'm going to edit before I add chapter two. This was originally one long one-shot that I wrote for English, so, I suppose some parts make more sense if you would read the story as a whole. The idea actually spurted after watching the first episode of a show called Samantha Who? I never got to watch any of the other episodes, but, hopefully my storyline runs different from the network's. And I can't use italics in my story, I'm not a pro member, so... And I've never heard of "Two Days in Paris." Is it a book? I write on other sites and some of my work seems to remind people of movies and books I've never seen or heard of.

Anyway, sorry this is so long, but thank you again!

Thank you for critiquing my story! It's a good guideline for the edit when I get to it.

Oh good lord, I hang my head in shame at my grammar mistakes... Seriously, I wanted to slap myself. That is my biggest pet peeve and I just fed right into it. Holy hell.

But more importantly, THANK YOU... You know how critiques go in Pepperdine classes so this was just what I needed and you actually reaffirmed a lot of what I suspected. I've kind of shelved this story but now I might actually work on it again.

Wow, this was a big moment now that you mention it. Glad we've moved past that awkward phase.

OK, thanks again, that was the best critique I've ever received.

I don't "remember" The State per se, I only saw it for the first time about a year ago... I've since developed an unending appreciation. Haven't seen that one you mentioned, but Louie at The Last Supper is what got me hooked. God bless youtube.

Its been awhile since I've had a good crit, so thank you for your constructive feedback!

Thanks for your really great feedback! I have a terrible habit of writing too much dialogue. You've given me a lot to think about. Thanks again!

Just leaving you a note to thank you for your feedback. I realize my prologue isn't strong, one might even say the same for my writing in general. But you gave me a good idea of what I need to work on. Thanks again!