Heck yeah, there's something I wish to say..

Your story rocks!

That being said, I love your character. She's bold, brassy, confident and could very possibly live outside your head.

 The plot was hilarious. It was so lively, spontanteous and carefree. It was like the character was actually right in the room with you. The story plot was the perfect length. Not too long and not too short. Your story had a premise and it stayed there throughout the whole story. It never diverted or strayed out the ordinary. Not out of the ordinary in a contrary sort of way. I was highly satisfied with how the story stayed true to the humorous antecdotes with you and your character having words.

Well, this guide template I am using asked if you used any subplots. I would have to say no. This was pretty straightforward and did not need any, It would have diverted from the story if you did have one. And, I would not be giving such high praise.

 Here we come to the pacing. The pacing of the plot was dead on. It kept up with your high octane character and never let us go from the ride you took us on. I followed with bated breath wondering what woud come out of her mouth next. It was perfect, what more can I say?

I was not bored nor rushed at all. Like I said, the plot was perfect.

 With your descriptions, you gave us all the just the right amount to describe her flaws, her character was quite clear. The only thing was you could have given a brief overall type of woman that she was. Examples are: Hair color, eyes, height, and weight. I knew she smoked and drank beer and had an attitude. The only thing that would have made her literally come ouf of the page was if you described her a bit more.

(I am just saying all this to get words on the page, ssh, don't tell anyone.. Lol!)

Your character already described herself as having blue-gray eyes and the most smooth complexion on earth. I am adding this:

She had legs that any man would kill to possess. Her sliky blond locks captured the glow of the sunlight pouring in through the windows. Her six foot two slender curves lay provactively upon the pillows of the couch with her pouty lips shining and portraying her love for seductive games. Having the cigarette placed squarely in between the center of her glossed lips did nothing to avert the lust coursing through his veins at the moment...

Okay, now I'm finished, do you like?

Okay, back to the vocabulary. Was there variety? Hmm.. Yes, I would say so. You had just the right amount of words in the just the right amount of places.

 POV. I have no complaints here. Your plot's premise was that your character had a mind of her own and that you as the author was having a war with her to stay in your head. You never deviated from that premise and I applaud you for that. Both you and your character's POV were here. Which was how it was suppoed to be. I was never confused about anything in your piece. It was straight foward and as funny as can be.

 Like I said in my opening statement, your character was almost as real just as if she were actually right along side you in the room arguing. You made her come alive, made her jump off the page and stare the reader straight in the face. I formed an instant bond with her. She had the type of guts, savvyy and brass that I expect from any heroine.

You and your character were very unique. You both had your own attitudes and your ways of thinking. She became bold, you became even more determined. You tried to quiet her but she would not go away.

 The dialog was flawless. You had each distinctive personality and consistently stuck with it. The amount of dialog was perfect. I was never once bored, nor lead astray. You kept me entertained with your wit as well as hers. I give the performances in this piece a resounding A++

 Okay, we're here on grammar and spelling mistakes.

I did not notice any spelling mistakes, as I was too busy reading and being entertained. That's how good this story is. That I didn't notice anything other than how witty this work is.

On grammar, I only have one complaint. My problem which too many commas. You don't need so many. Not unless you did it to prove a point somehow. Otherwise, please edit and take some out. Example:

"What?"  She bats her eyes.  She tries to look innocent, now that she's back in the room.  Really, though, with the way she looks away, the way she holds her chin high and her eyes low, she reminds me of the one waitress at work, the one who never splits tips and never talks and knows that no male will ever hate her because she's cute.

Here's the sentence and how it should look:

*What? She bats her eyes, She tries to look innocent, now that she's back in the room.Really, though, with the way she looks away, the way she holds her chin high and her eyes low, she reminds me of one waitress at work, the one who never splits tips and never talks and knows that no male will ever hate her because she's cute.* This is your version.

Here's my version:

"What?" She asks, batting her eyes while trying to look innocent now that she has come back in to the room.

Really though, with the way she looks away, her chin high and her eyes low, she reminds me of a waitress at work that I know. The kind that never splits tips, never talks and knows that no male will ever hate her because she's cute.

Just thought I would throw that in there. Because this is a critique. And, what critique would be complete without one little correction?

Other than this, your work is perfection!

 In closing, I loved your quick wit and would read this story over and over again. This is a continuing series is it not? If so, you have the makings of a very great following. Your talent is very high. I can tell that you have been working on your craft and honing it. Your vivid tale peaked my interest. And, makes me want to look at other work that you have posted. As a matter of fact, you are going on my list of favorite authors just so that I can track your work.

I know I am just a scribbler right now but, who knows, maybe I will one day work myself up to your level of creativity. And, that's a high complement indeed.