Hey, thanks a lot for the critique, I appreciate it. You were right about like, everything. My edit of the story will include more back story on the guy who tries to rob the store. I'm thinkin' he sees his only way out of all his problems is suicide and he wants to take everybody down with the ship. It's funny though, cause the story has been through 3 English classes and you were the first to notice such a thing. Anyway, thanks again