sounds like you have alot of anger and hurt inside you trying to vent, put all that into your work, turn it into something usefull because it is no good for anyone left as is. you have some good ideas, for me, my personal tastes go to more traditional poetry, generalasions (probably spelled wrong oops) rather than too much personal info. and try to keep the word count down, the fewer words you can use to convey the meanings of things the more effective they are. I noticed that you use the same word at the end of the lines in alot of places but without the use of any rhyming  scheme. I may suguest that you take your work portion by portion and think of different shorter  ways to say what you want to say, maybe even write each line in several different ways , do this throught the whole piece then go back and read over and pick and choose which ones fit togeather the best. this like anything anyone else may tell you is what works for them, but as you well know that we are all different and what may work for one may not for another, so take this with a grain of salt, if any part is usefull then I am glad, If not I am sorry I could not help you.. Just keep on doing what makes you feel the best, after all in the end that is what really matters most. thank you for contacting me, and yes I know that it takes forever to get any critques, I havent even written anything else that I have here because I didn't buy a subscription, I wanted to see how much feedback was avaliable first, and it isn't much. but I will say that most of the feedback I have gotten has been very usefull and not like most sites where everyone just pats each other on the back no matter what.  talk to you again when I have more time I will read some more of your work. cheri...

Firstly I have a suggestion for the title: don't use shorthand like "ur."  It sounds unprofessional, especially since you actually spell out "your" right after it!  Also, why is DICK capitalized and in quotation marks?  Lastly, I would consider revising the title to something less "in-your-face."  You might have chosen the title for shock value, which is fine; however, I think a more subtle, less jarring title might encourage more people to read.  After all, the anger is evident in the poem itself; take this opportunity to create an oasis of calm with the title.

On a general level, I think this poem may be more effective if you stuck to a form.  As it is, it's in free verse, and lacking any semblance of structure or meter.  This can be fine in some cases, but I think it hinders what you're trying to say in this case.  Perhaps you're trying to mirror the rage you feel through a disconnected and fragmented free-verse style; but consider that attention to meter and a more formal structure may lend an icy order to your anger, focusing and channeling it instead of spewing it over the page indiscriminately.  And when I say form, I mean a particular rhyme scheme, or a traditional form like a sonnet or something.

Also, I urge you to pay close attention to your grammar and spelling.  I pointed out several cases below where you made extremely basic mistakes that show me that you didn't proofread or that you did proofread, but not closely.  Any basic spell check that includes a grammar check should have caught those mistakes immediately.  If a writer can't be bothered to read their own work, then why should the reader?

Another point I'd like to mention is one that I've mentioned before in critiques to other writers.  It is this: you are writing your poem for an audience.  If you were writing it for just yourself, then you wouldn't be posting it on this website for the public to see.  As such, ask yourself as you write: what VALUE does my poem give to the reader?  In other words, WHY should a reader read it?  Does it answer a question?  Does it lend meaning to something?  Does it explore an allegory, a story, a thought or emotion?  After reading it, what can the reader take away that will make them want to read more of my poems?

I mention this because anger, sadness, and loneliness are emotions every single person feels.  These are the central themes of this poem, and essentially the only purpose of this poem is to vent those emotions.  Why, then, am I reading it?  I know it's terrible to have to go through something like this, and I sympathize; but as a reader, what value does this poem impart?  Do I gain some kind of insight into the emotions, or is it just a vent?  The answer, in this case, is that it's just a vent--and, having finished it, I don't feel like I learned anything; I feel like I've just read a diary entry.  And that's exactly what this boils down to: an angry and emotional diary entry.  Which is fine; but you have to understand that it's impossible to critique a work that's not meant to be read by anyone but the writer.

Now it's true that not every single piece of writing has to have some kind of transcendent value.  We're all entitled to write whatever we want.  But pieces like this are extremely difficult to critique, because, well, they're written for the writer.

When you're writing your next piece, think to yourself, "who will read this, and WHY?"  I think that if you write to answer that question, you'll be left with a much more relatable, coherent, and VALUABLE piece overall.

Now, I don't mean to discourage you; you definitely have talent.  Now I want to see you focus it into an elegant gem of a poem, as opposed to a chaotic emotional vent.

Having said that, here are some specific points, mostly relating to grammar and punctuation:

fested

I think you mean "festering"

wound seeping through my lonely heart

How does a wound seep through something?  A wound can't seep THROUGH things.

Souls as ours has come to a halt .

"have come" instead of "has come" (souls is plural)

You walked out taking with, all of me

would sound better as "taking with you," because as it is there's no object to match "with"

Now my heart weeps if only you could see

Try a semicolon after "weeps"

My broken heart and our love children’s too

I think you mean "our love's children" instead of "our love children's".  If not, there should be no apostrophe there.

Picking up the pieces trying to move on

Try a comma after "pieces"

Here I am all alone

Comma after "am"

fucken enemy?

should be "fucking," or at least "fuckin' " with an apostrophe to indicate the contraction

 If you have any questions, or need me to clarify anything, please don't hesitate to get in touch.  I want to see some more of your stuff!

Scream! to the world is what I want to do.

Right here is wrong. There' no need for the "!" to be there before or any part of the sentence.

 Maybe it will stop how feel

It's "Maybe it will stop how I feel" that way you're talking about who's feeling what kind of emotions.

Nevertheless, we were in- love

The "-" needs to be removed from that sentence. That little piece puncuation is used for putting words together, for example "Spider-Man".

Despite these errors and the spelling and grammar flaws that Bob [Onnie] pointed out, I say 'aye' in agreement to how this whole thing reads. The theme of your poem is very familiar with the feeling of loneliness, anger and fear that comes after being betrayed by someone you loved or that short of thing. On a side note, this is something more of a diary entry that you should keep to yourself and not share with the world at large. Hope you consider the comments that came before mine.

Thank you for sharing. 1 love!

a.mscifi