Hi there and thanks for the welcome!

ummm... sorry i called u "dude"... i realized that u werent a male after i read ure name and such.... and the correct terminology is "dudette" thanks for the site

No problem, I'll get around to reading the rest of your stuff soon.

Thank you for the review. It's nice to hear what other people think, because as writers we are so close to the story. I have been meaning to get to Educating Pam, but my internet has been down for several weeks. After I play catch up, I pay back the favor.

hey wassup, dude. i read wat u posted on the group "Welcome Wagon/Mentoring Motorcar" and i agree, i can hardly get feedback myself, and i was wondering if u could name the other site that u posted your other works on.

Hi, Shiloh - Thanks so much for another great review! I will definitely be returning the favor once I return home - I'm currently in China right now.

Hugs,

Natalie

I'm sorry the start was a little hard to understand - the combination of the narrator's supernatural and normal-kid qualities was intended. I think it becomes easier to understand later in the first chapter - for clarification, I encourage you to read on.

As for the administration introduced in those first paragraphs - I pictured the setting far in the future, but yes, in America. Maybe fifty years. A hundred. With a central point of a radical change in government.

Thanks for your opinion

Katie

YOU GO!! Critiquing champ of the evening! I'm impressed

Thanks for the critique! I had no idea that punctuation in poetry made any difference. I've always used grammar as a suggestion rather than a rule. Thanks for keeping me honest!