Hi there and thanks for the welcome!

ummm... sorry i called u "dude"... i realized that u werent a male after i read ure name and such.... and the correct terminology is "dudette" thanks for the site

No problem, I'll get around to reading the rest of your stuff soon.

Thank you for the review. It's nice to hear what other people think, because as writers we are so close to the story. I have been meaning to get to Educating Pam, but my internet has been down for several weeks. After I play catch up, I pay back the favor.

hey wassup, dude. i read wat u posted on the group "Welcome Wagon/Mentoring Motorcar" and i agree, i can hardly get feedback myself, and i was wondering if u could name the other site that u posted your other works on.

Hi, Shiloh - Thanks so much for another great review! I will definitely be returning the favor once I return home - I'm currently in China right now.

Hugs,

Natalie

I'm sorry the start was a little hard to understand - the combination of the narrator's supernatural and normal-kid qualities was intended. I think it becomes easier to understand later in the first chapter - for clarification, I encourage you to read on.

As for the administration introduced in those first paragraphs - I pictured the setting far in the future, but yes, in America. Maybe fifty years. A hundred. With a central point of a radical change in government.

Thanks for your opinion

Katie

YOU GO!! Critiquing champ of the evening! I'm impressed

Thanks for the critique! I had no idea that punctuation in poetry made any difference. I've always used grammar as a suggestion rather than a rule. Thanks for keeping me honest!

Thanks so much for all your wonderful critiques, and I'm so sorry it took this long for me to respond. I was out of town and didn't see them until now - what a lovely surprise. I'll be lurking around your desk now .

His Fragrance, I am sorry you are having so many issues getting started. I am going to stay on a wee bit longer, I have done all I could do to attract others to my site, but no one's looking at my work. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of patience, so I might go back to soulasylumpoetry. I do like it here, but apparently I am doing something wrong. Let me know whether I can help you get started. Hugs, Dossie AKA Shilohx7

I read it and love it! So different. When I get a chance to set down and read it well I will give you some of my ideals! always -Rain~

I'll add them to my queue. Thanks for the detail you're using to look at my story.

Welcome! I am glad to have you! Thank you so much for your critique on my Storm. Let me know as soon as you get some of your own works up!

Welcome to scribophile!