Soheil Danesh
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No problem, my friend. As I said, I really enjoyed your work and definitely think you have the writing chops to make an impact.
Any time! I have the same problems myself, a lot of the time. Makes it easy to spot 
Thanks for the lively critique of Iron Arcadia! I'll see what I can do about explaining the ammonia cloud. Haha. For all purposes, it's because ammonia's used as fertilizer, and what place needs fertilizer more than a conservatory. I'll get that somehow in the story.
Anyway, thanks again for the thoughts! 'Twas a helpful review.
Anyway, thanks again for the thoughts! 'Twas a helpful review.
Welcome Soheil,
Beautiful name, seconded!
-Ben
Beautiful name, seconded!
-Ben
hi, soheil--
welcome!
(beautiful name)
welcome!
(beautiful name)
| Name: | soheil danesh |
| Sex: | Male |
| Location: | seattle, wa |
| Birthday: | Nov. 29, 1981 |
| Words Written: | 2936 |
| Hottest Words: | julie, nikolai, head, nikolais, war, eyes |
| Other Networks: |
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About Me
| Favorite Books: | infinite jest, pale fire, lolita, brief interviews with hedious men, portrait of the artist as a young man, tom sawyer, hundred years of solitude, laughable loves, lost in the fun house, the selfish gene, gravity's rainbow |
| Favorite Movies: | fear and loathing in las vegas, snatch, glengery glen ross, the godfather, fight club, lock stock and two smoking barrels, factotum, last tango in paris, fresh, the matrix, shawshank redemption, M, unbearable lightness of bein, the departed, layer cake, eastern promises, 3:10 to yuma, there will be blood, no country for old men, the diving bell and the butterfly...how could i have fogotten "Trainspotting"? plus "the doors", and Bertolucci's "the Dreamers" though it's not for everyone |
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September 16
Soheil Danesh wrote on Joshua Burgess's scratchpad.
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September 9
Soheil Danesh edited the circle Literary Fiction.
August 26
Soheil Danesh voted.
Soheil Danesh wrote on Stewart Flintonlaubakersmith's scratchpad.
Soheil Danesh published I Was Gently Waltzing When Life Boogied In.
Soheil Danesh wrote on Natalie Addison's scratchpad.
August 11
Soheil Danesh became a fan of Natalie Addison.
July 31
July 17
Soheil Danesh created a new circle called Literary Fiction.
Soheil Danesh updated his profile.
Soheil Danesh commented on the Scribophile blog entry Publishing Cost Changes.
Soheil Danesh updated his profile.
July 14
Soheil Danesh joined Scribophile!
Latest Works
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I'm shooting for a literary short story with this I want to eventually send it out to magazines, so your feedback about minor details or overall tone and word usage would be greatly appreciated. You should tell me if I'm being over(t)ly flash... » Read...
2936 words - 3 critiques
Latest Critiques and Comments
Showing 2 of 2 critique and comments.
On Iron Arcadia, Chapter 0: The Deluge, by Inkblot Scribe:
Overall, I liked the tone and the word choice.
The last paragraph I thought was especially good:
“In his fin... » Read more...
On The Late Night Movie Show, by Louisa Gholson: I feel like the first paragraph is a bit sudden, maybe start
with a little introduction of max, like: Back in the days, Max w... » Read more...