Thank you so much for the critique It's exactly what I need to hear.

Hi this is Chap and I lost the first try in case half a message shows up. <grin> I'm going to have to print out what you told me because the mechanics of writing escape me. I just write so I thank you for the help. I'm not sure what to do about some of it because I really do talk like that. LOL! Even down to the "balk". My plan is to write a confusing first chapter that would draw the reader to keep reading and explain it out in subsequint chapters. I'm hoping to do that without loosing people in the first. So Thanks again, I'll be printing these out and pouring over them. BTW, I've read dome of your work even if I didn't comment, I really like it. The experimental poem that changed style every stanza (I'm a musician so that may not the the right term) was great. Hope to "talk" with you soon!

hey thanks a lot for the detailed critique of the story. Definitely very useful.

Btw, I love that you love apathy. It's so flippin' ironic. (I know that's not what you meant, but still.)

Thanks for the comment on Iron Arcadia! It's true, the fact the boy was right outside is a little off-putting. Do you think if ol' Dave jumped in an elevator to get there, it'd make more sense?

It's not rambling if it's useful and everything you said was very useful. Feel free to "ramble" all over my stories whenever you want.
-Ben

Thanks for the in depth critique of Fireborn. I hear what you're saying. One of the techniques that I was attempting was to make it sound like a nature documentary, hence all the scientific words (plus, honestly, I default to that kind of language anyway). I didn't do any research before writing, so I think that particular technique was more distancing than it was effective. Thanks for pointing it out.
-Ben

Romanian is my first language. And don't worry the crit wasn't to long at all, I gathered a lot of good info, both as a general feel and from a technical point of view

Thanks for your crit. It was most helpful

Glad you liked dead lovin'! I'm weird, I come up with questions like that.