Hello, Su Dru Nym! I just came by to say that your work was absolutely brilliant indeed. I have never seen anyone say all those things about the art of life. What I am saying is: you have taken the arts of life and painted them beautifully with many complex words! That paints a pretty picture of what you have written in one thousand and ninety three words. For instance, let me show you what every line that you have done in this work had reminded me of:

Art is an expression of the feeling of no purpose. This means art is paradoxically nonsensical as it is specially arranging and organizing the senses of experience. Art is reinvention and meticulation of understanding what one has the ability to fully comprehend. To have no purpose is to show purpose as nonsensical, and art is an alchemical bonding of the two concepts (to have genuine purpose and to not). It is learning. Art is only outwardly shown when complete in releasing from the artist’s mind, but art is inside every being imagined, both living and dead.

 

This was a great paragraph that you have written here. Here is an idea from me to you: "Art is the true essence of the beauty of life. Art is but a unique style of showing grace in works."

Life is a replication of death. Death is a form of reliving a dream. A dream is a complication of life. Both life and death are bloodcurdling, sensational realizations of an artist’s dream and the general relativity of spectacles of dreams. To live is to be trained in a certain way of life; it is to hold a fork in your hand of preference and strike where and when at will. It is a test. When a person holds anything outside of their mind, it is art. When it is fully grasped that the soul is everywhere at once and that you have been tricked by the monster deep inside you to think that you are always yourself, always griping the fork, and always correct in everything you do and eat because you are plainly true to yourself and your mouth, your word, you have dreamed your life in its entirety as art. When you go through the obstacle of death, you relive what you learned in one, single flash. Light and color infiltrate your sight as chaos. Appreciation is immediately found. Now that you are dead, you are no longer the lost figure amongst the crowd who either thought you were special or one in a million. You are found and recognized; a God stands and motions for you. No longer must you muster the strength to continue loving yourself... He calls you, He holds you, and He loves you. The two of you become one and you feel and remain complete, solid art.

 

This was indeed my favorite paragraph to read in this work. You intricately describe what life and death ae in the terms of the unique forms of art that art takes on. In my opinion, I believe that you should do the beauty of life into a story about what art is really. Just imagine! You writing the piece and many modern day raving artists coming to see your works. Think about that! All in all, this is the most intricate work on scribophile I have seen thus far. Please contact me on my scratchpad to reply about the suggestions in this critique that I gave you. If you want to do what I gave you as an idea, then do so. Have fun with other works that you may do later on this site. Most of all what I have to tell you is take care! Bye bye now!

 I never would have thought to put life in such terms! WELL DONE!

Everybody else seems to have loved it, so maybe it’s just me, but I didn’t get or like this at all (sorry). It's nothing personal and I'm not trying to hate, but I started reading, thought I could relate because I've also been made fun of most of my life, and so I couldn't not finish this.

I’m not feelin’ the first sentence at all, probably because it doesn’t make much sense and needs to be reworded. Because I don’t get the first paragraph and thus, don’t know where it’s going, I’m already bored (sorry, no offense).  

“I have been made fun of and delivered hard time throughout most of my life for searching... the purpose. In the long run, it has assuredly intensified the passion for doing so more than anything else in life. In the act of retorting, this expression of passion of what I know and keep inside my search for ultimate soul mates and a binding love of trust between friends is elaborated throughout the rest of this work” (p.1).

No offense, but it sounds like you wrote this hours before it was due, because you forgot words that would help this make a lot more sense. For example, in the first sentence: “made fun of and delivered hard time”. Delivered isn’t the right word, but if you want to keep it maybe it should go first (have been delivered hard times and made fun of), because it sounds awkward where it is. And nobody can be “delivered hard time.” It’s hard times or a hard time.

So you’ve been through hard times most of your life “for searching…the purpose”. That doesn’t make sense at all. And the next sentence: what

“has assuredly intensified the passion for doing so more than anything else in life?”

I can only assume you mean the search for a purpose, so you’ll need to clarify that. Then in the last sentence, there’s “In the act of retorting:” retorting to what? You make a dramatic turn in subject in this paragraph: first it’s “the purpose” then it’s

“my search for ultimate soul mates.”

Your constant change in subject made it more confusing to me, because I didn’t know exactly what I was reading about: purpose or soul mates, and then I get to art. I had no idea what I was reading about. First I was reading about purpose and soul mates in incomplete sentences, and then it’s about God, art, death and lust in complete sentences, articles and all. I think I was drawn to this in the first place because you said it was an expression of what you want to evolve into (which I’m all for; I’m trying to evolve myself, and I’ve been analyzing my life like crazy, as of late), but I was expecting this to be a story, and since one of the tags on it was “horror,” I said “yes please!” Also, I don’t understand what you will be evolving into if this piece is about the art of life (if that’s what it’s about).