Thanks for all of your help!

Tamara,

Thanks very much for your comments! It's somewhat disheartening having to edit and reedit again and again, but I understand the importance of the first chapters in any book being flawless. On the other hand, it's very encouraging to hear someone enjoying my story.

A couple of questions:

1. I know you said that you enjoyed the story, but did you feel engaged to continue reading on? I want to keep the reader glued to the page.

2. I know the chapters are a bit long. Do you suggest breaking them up a bit?

3. I know that you said that there is reader/action disconnect, but I felt that many of the examples given were not relevant when in the context of the other chapters. Could you provide me with a couple of examples in order to help me identify it?

Again, thanks for all of your help!

-Strider212

hi, tamara--
thanks for your insightful comments on 'moving target'. i appreciate your perspective on poetry, having a similar one myself.
i understand your point about accessible writing, and have to admit i wrote this in a pique of introspection. so, thank you for understanding!

Tamara,

Thanks for the critiuqe. I'm using you as my barometer as to when to post the next chapters, since I've written up to chapter 8. I'll look into your suggestions Thanks! I hope that this doesn't get too boring before it gets fun.

Heh. thanks! I hope not to dissapoint, though with all the niceness, I'm beginning to get writing performance anxiety

Thank you for the sweetness and light I've got the next chapter of Harmony waiting in the wings. I'm thinking about writing a 7k word critique about the merits of using it's vs its. Keep on being awesome!

Thanks for critiquing my I poem. I may not whole-heartedly agree with everything you said, but you did point out some things and share some ideas I was not aware of and had never thought of before. So thanks again.

Hey, we have the same birthday! I look forward to reading your work sometime.

Hello Tamara,

Thanks for looking at my poetry. It's weird to think I wrote that. My life is completely different now, but those feelings still hang around. I think you can see them in some of my other works.

Also, I just started listening to Adventures in SciFi Publishing and I totally heard your Scirbophile shout-out. I was blown away by the convergence. I guess it's not that strange, but it made me smile.

Thanks again,
-Ben

tamara!
how cool, your critique on 'saturation point'--thanks so much for the helpful suggestions.
i know it needs significant work, but i was excited enough about the story idea to plow right in and post. hopefully, i'll get it fixed up and add to it as well pretty soon.