It's a song. They're lyrics. They don't have to make perfect grammatical sense. I've explained this.

Haha, that's ok, it happens to the best of us.

Hey there. To do the quotes thing, you enclose the quote in < quote> and < /quote> tags. (minus the spaces.), or use the " button, or highlight the text and press CTRL Q.

sorry that wasn't suppose to come out like that. Thanks for the critique i really do appreciate it

thanks for the critique ...you can critique peoples work and be tactful about it (being nice) I know stuff needs work thats why i'm posting on it, but i dont need to feel like a crappy writer for posting it. I'm not saying your critique was anything like that but you asked

thank you for the critque of deaths array, I am new and haven't a paid subscription yet, so unless I copy and paste from my other writing sites, I cannot space them out as I would like to, unless I am doing something wrong here? yes I do agree it needs a break there.

Thanks Timothy, I know I like the way the poem moves, and the repetition and the words, but unfortunately, I have no idea what it means, except a way to let out my frustration, and other feelings. Thanks for understanding.

Cathy

Hi Timothy, Thanks for taking a look at this. I thought I'd get my feet wet by posting a poem I had written years ago first.

To be honest, I'm not really sure what it means. I know I was very depressed and jealous over an ex girlfriend of my boyfriend who had come to see him. I was there, and I just wanted to die. I felt so betrayed. There was anger too.
This was written Stream of Consciousness style, which means I just sat down and wrote. Nothing was planned or thought out. I can tell you what I was feeling, but not really what it means. I was very young and really didn't think about the meaning when I wrote it. I thought only of the emotion that made me write it.
Sorry for your confusion. I wish I could clear it up for you, but I really don't know the meaning myself.

Cathy

Hello, Timothy. You do poetry? Then you are invited to my circle Short Stories and Poems Haven.

nonsense, if I couldn't take the criticism, I wouldn't post the poem. Thanks for the input! And don't be hard on yourself, let us, the critics, be the judge of how good or bad it is . And besides, a good critique doesn't say much, a critical critique is the whole point! I don't wanna know how "great" I am, I wanna know how I can be better! Thanks for the help, I definitely appreciate it! Welcome to Scribophile!