I am? Is that One A.M.? I didn't really understand that part of this poem. This poem that I am talking about being written by Traci Jeanee Smith, it is posted above this critique. The name of this poem that I am critiquing is I AM, and it was written right here on Scribophile. The poem shouldn't have numbers in it I don't think, it is really tacky and the change between types of speech was a little confusing. Is this a clubbin', sexin', smokin', drinkin' son of a bitch, or an Elizabethan choir lass? It doesn't make a lot of sense. But as for the content of the poem, what the poem itself was actually about, I really liked it. Nice topic. Most people that write about this kind of thing seem like jerks or good two shoes. This was actually really good. I am impressed.

First of all, I have to say that the abbreviations you use are extremely distracting and lend a very juvenile and immature tone to the poem as a whole.  Poetry is about giving every single word a meaning, and when you contract words using teenage slang, it kind of defeats the point--particularly with a poem like this one that purports to pose some difficult moral and theological questions.

Also, you have several grammatical errors, for example:

He just need u 2 move when He say move

should be "needs" and "says"

I also think there should be some commas interspersed in there, but that may just be a matter of taste.

On a more abstract note, isn't the concept of the Christian god that he is all-loving and all-forgiving?  Why would he send an angel to tell a mortal that he's displeased?  Wouldn't God love the mortal for all their flaws and sins anyway?  I don't mean to side on either yes or no, but this is just a question that I found myself asking as I was reading this.  I would think that instead of being displeased with and made sick by a mortal, God would instead just be disappointed (at most) but still be supportive.  But then again, maybe that's what this poem is bringing into question.

But besides that, my biggest criticism is the juvenile use of "internet" contractions.  If you want anyone to take this poem seriously, you need to ditch those asap!

 Traci, this is a very powerful piece! It is clear you are very passionate about the topic which comes through greatly in your writing. However, I would suggest working on making your diction the same throughout the poem. Parts of the poem use low diction and slang (which is fine when done stylistically), but other parts use very high diction and even old fashioned and biblical wordings like "hath" and "unto". Considering that the speaker remains the same throughout the poem, I think the diction should also. 

Wow, a poem about the great "I AM" Touching, and powerful. Great job.

 Traci this is a powerful poem and you've created a most unique way to present it.  It took a while to get into it, (my only negative)  but once I did, I noticed a certain cadence and I believe what holds it all together is the first line of each verse "I AM has sent unto u." The dropping of the "g" is clever, but you should do it consistently throughout the poem..  I think your not using punctuation is another plus as it seems the content has no bound and no particular audience. There's a feeling of evolution about it, or maybe eternity is a better word. It's an amazing poem, filled with Bibical teachings as well as a warning for those who are knowingly doing things  that displeases God.  This poem also is one for introspection and reflection. I enjoyed the read very much and though I sought to critique it, I don't think I'd change a thing.  Shilohx7